Bull Durham (1988)
by Ron Shelton.
Final script.

       In baseball, you don't know nothing.

                            --Yogi Berra



       Whoever wants to know the heart and
       mind of America had better learn
       baseball.

                            --Jacques Barzun



       You could look it up.

                            --Casey Stengel

Titles over--

FADE IN:

A series of still photos.  Black and white.  Ancient.

BABE RUTH SWINGS -- An icon of American history.  His giant
upper body balanced delicately on tiny ankles and feet.  The
huge bat in an elegant followthrough...

                                             DISSOLVE TO:

TY COBB ROUNDS THIRD -- The most vicious ballplayer of them
all, a balletic whirling dervish.

                                             DISSOLVE TO:

JACKIE ROBINSON STEALS ROME -- Yogi Berra applies the tag.
Too late.

                                             DISSOLVE TO:

JOE DIMAGGIO WITH HIS SON in the Yankee clubhouse.  Walking
down the runway, Joe in uniform.  Number five.

PULLBACK REVEALS:

A WALL COVERED WITH BASEBALL PICTURES behind a small table
covered with objects and lit candles.  A baseball, an old
baseball card, a broken bat, a rosin bag, a jar of pine tar--
also a peacock feather, a silk shawl, a picture of Isadora
Duncan.  Clearly, the arrangement is--

A SHRINE -- And it glows with the candles like some religious
altar.

We hear a woman's voice in a North Carolina accent.

                   ANNIE (V.O.)
        I believe in the Church of
        Baseball.
            (beat)
        I've tried all the major religions
        and most of the minor ones--I've
        worshipped Buddha, Allah, Brahma,
        Vishnu, Siva, trees, mushrooms,
        and Isadora Duncan...

PAN AWAY FROM THE SHRINE across the room.  Late afternoon
light spills into the room, across fine old furniture, to a
small dressing table.  A WOMAN applies make up.

ANNIE SAVOY, mid 30's, touches up her face.  Very pretty,
knowing, outwardly confident.  Words flow from her Southern
lips with ease, but her view of the world crosses Southern,
National and International borders.  She's cosmic.

                   ANNIE (V.O.  CONT'D)
        I know things.  For instance--
            (beat)
        There are 108 beads in a Catholic
        rosary.  And--
            (beat)
        There are 108 stitches in a
        baseball.
            (beat)
        When I learned that, I gave Jesus
        a chance.
            (beat)
        But it just didn't work out between
        us   The Lord laid too much guilt
        on me.  I prefer metaphysics to
        theology.
            (beat)
        You see, there's no guilt in
        baseball...and it's never boring.

ANNIE OPENS A CLOSET DOOR -- Dozens of shoes hang from the
door.  She chooses a pair of RED HIGH HEELS, with thin straps.
She sits on a bench and

                   ANNIE
        Which makes It like sex.
            (beat)
        There's never been a ballplayer
        slept with me who didn't have the
        best year of his career.
            (beat)
        Making love is like hitting a
        baseball--you just got to relax
        and concentrate.

ANNIE SLIPS ON THE RED HIGH HEELS -- Smoothing her hands up
her calves as she does.

                   ANNIE
        Besides, I'd never sleep with a
        player hitting under .250 unless
        he had a lot of R.B.I.'s or was a
        great glove man up the middle.
            (beat)
        A woman's got to have standards.

SHE HOLDS OUR HER LEGS DISPLAYING THE HEELS, side by side.
Like a little girl showing off her new shoes.

                   ANNIE
        The young players start off full
        of enthusiasm and energy but they
        don't realize that come July and
        August when the weather is hot
        it's hard to perform at your peak
        level.
            (beat)
        The veterans pace themselves
        better.  They finish stronger.
        They're great in September.
            (beat)
        While I don't believe a woman
        needs a man to be fulfilled, I do
        confess an interest in finding
        the ultimate guy--he'd have that
        youthful exuberance but the
        veteran's sense of timing...

ANNIE STARTS PACKING A HUGE HANDBAG -- With fruit, an official
scorebook, binoculars, a radar gun, and lipstick.

                   ANNIE
        Y'see there's a certain amount of
        "life-wisdom" I give these boys.
            (beat)
        I can expand their minds.
        Sometimes when I've got a
        ballplayer alone I'll just read
        Emily Dickinson or Walt Whitman
        to him.  The guys are so sweet--
        they always stay and listen.
            (beat)
        Of course a guy will listen to
        anything if he thinks it's
        foreplay.

ANNIE TOUCHES PERFUME BEHIND HER EARS and, ever so slightly,
in her cleavage.

                   ANNIE
        I make then feel confident.  They
        make me feel safe.  And pretty.

ANNIE POSES IN FRONT OF THE MIRROR -- She smoothes her dress
along her hips.  And puts on a flashy pair of sunglasses.
Stylish and slightly mad.

                   ANNIE
        what I give them lasts a life-
        time.  What they give me lasts
        142 games.  Sometimes it seems
        like a bad trade
            (quickly rebounding)
        but bad trades are part of baseball--
        who can forget Frank Robinson or
        Milt Pappas, for Godsakes!
            (beat)
        It's a long season and you got to
        trust it.

ANNIE STARTS FOR THE DOOR and grabs her baseball glove

                                                  CUT TO:

EXT.  ANNIE'S HOUSE -- DUSK

A frame house with porch and lots of trees--a Thomas Wolfe
house...with a 1959 faded red Volvo in the driveway.

ANNIE LEAVES ON FOOT, turning onto the sidewalk of a bucolic,
old Durham, North Carolina neighborhood.  In the b.g.  other
people are heading the same direction ANNIE PULLS A DURHAM
BULLS BASEBALL CAP from her handbag and pulls it on her head.

                   ANNIE
        I've tried them all--I really
        have--
            (beat)
        and the only church that truly
        feeds the soul--day in, day out--
        is the Church of Baseball.

                                                  CUT TO:

EXT.  THE CHURCH -- DURHAM BASEBALL PARK -- DUSK

Now visible In the late afternoon sun, a rickety old stadium
carved into the center of an old Tobacco town.

People are arriving on foot from all around...

"Rock Around the Clock" by Bill Haley fills the air.

CLOSE ON A BASEBALL CLOWN -- MAX PATKIN, 60, at home plate
doing his famous Bill Haley routine.- A comic pitcher's windup
full of twists and goofy choreography.

                   RECORDING OVER P.A.
        One o'clock, two o'clock, three
        o'clock, rock...Four o'clock,
        five o'clock, six o'clock rock...

ANNIE SITS DOWN IN HER PRIVATE BOX SEAT -- Her chair is wiped
off by a young black boy, JACKSON, 11, who then sits next to
her.  He is her employed errand runner, note sender, and
friend.

A GROUP OF GROUPIES ENTERS THE PARK -- 20 year old girl/women,
dressed in tight pants, tight everything.

Friendly, eager, innocent--THEY WAVE TO ANNIE.

FIVE PLAYERS' WIVES AND THREE SMALL CHILDREN sit in a special
box seat behind a small sign "Players' Wives".

                   RECORDING OVER P.A.
        Seven o'clock, eight o'clock,
        nine o'clock rock...we're gonna
        rock around the clock tonight

                                                  CUT TO:

EXT/INT.  THE DURHAM BULL DUGOUT -- NIGHT

AS MAX PATKIN CONTINUES HIS ROUTINE, PLAYERS WARM UP, AND-

THE MANAGER, JOE RIGGINS, 45, known merely as SKIP, short
for "Skipper", a chaw of tobacco in his cheek, stands with
his pitching coach, LARRY HOCKETT late 30's, an ex-big leaguer
whose body has seen too many cocktail lounges.

LARRY ROLLS SOME RED MAN CHEWING TOBACCO into a slab of pink
bubble gum, carefully folding the corners, tucking it neatly
together.  Larry examines it as they talk-And shoves the
giant chaw into his mouth.

                   SKIP
        Where's Ebby?

                   LARRY
        Ain't he warning up?

                   SKIP
            (cynically)
        No.  The guy's professional debut
        and he forgets about it.

                   LARRY
        Better find our bonus baby, eh?

A PLAYER, DEKE, 25, stuffs a hot dog into his mouth.

                   SKIP
        Seen Ebby?

                   DEKE
            (mouthful of food)
        Nope.

SKIP WHIRLS AND HEADS UP THE TUNNEL into the:

                                                  CUT TO:

INT.  THE DURHAM CLUBHOUSE -- NIGHT

SKIP enters, shouting--

                   SKIP
        Ebby?!

CLOSE ON A BARE ASS -- Baseball uniform around the ankles,
short t-shirt on top, and on top of that the head of EBBY
CALVIN LALOOSH, baseball cap on backwards.  EBBY is a great
looking energetic man-child with the endless confidence,
naivete and horniness of youth.

Life is a party.

A YOUNG WOMAN, MILLIE, 20, half nude, is dressing quickly.

EBBY WHIRLS as Skip enters.

                   SKIP
        Jesus.  Game starts in four
        minutes!
            (beat)
        Why ain't you warm?!

                   EBBY
        I am warm.

                   SKIP
        I'm fining you a hundred dollars.
        Jesus, Ebby, this is your
        professional debut tonight--you
        know how many guys out there'd
        give blood to be in your shoes
        an' you're leavin' your fastball
        in the locker room for some piece
        of ass!

MILLIE LOOKS OUT FROM BEHIND A BAT RACK -- Outraged.

                   MILLIE
        Skip, It's me!  I'm not some quote
        piece of ass unquote.

                   SKIP
        Oh, Millie, jeez, sorry--I didn't
        recognize ya.  Don't take it
        personal but if I catch you in
        here again you're banned from the
        ballpark.

                   MILLIE
        You can't ban me from the ballpark
        'cause Daddy donated the scoreboard
        and if you banned me he might
        take the scoreboard away.

                   SKIP
        Whatta we need a scoreboard for?
        We haven't scored any runs all
        year
            (tough, to Ebby)
        Get your ass out there.

As Skip starts to leave.

                   EBBY)
        Hey Boss, I got a question.

                   SKIP
            (stops, exasperated)
        What?!

                   EBBY
        You think I need a nickname?  I
        think I need a nickname.  The
        great ones have nicknames--
        somethin' like Oil Can or Catfish

Skip stares at him.  He can't believe this guy.

                   SKIP
        Ya got three minutes.

SKIP WHIRLS AND HEADS BACK OUT TO THE FIELD -- And Ebby
unperturbed, turns his attention back to Millie.

                   EBBY
        Got time for another quickie?

                   MILLIE
        Jesus, you got a game to pitch!

                   EBBY
        But we got three minutes.

EXT.  THE BALLPARK -- MOMENTS LATER -- NIGHT

                                                  CUT TO:

MAX PATKIN STILL FLAILING AWAY to "Rock Around the Clock".

                   RECORDING
        When the clock strikes two, three,
        and four and the band slows down
        we'll yell for more, gonna rock
        around the clock tonight.

ANNIE LOOKS THROUGH HER BINOCULARS -- Studying the players
warming up casually on the sidelines as Patkin winds up his
act.

P.O.V.  A LATIN PLAYER playing pepper.

                   ANNIE
        Number twenty-two's thighs are
        just great.  Who's he?

                   JACKSON
            (reading the program)
        Jose Galindo.  He hit .314 at
        Lynchburg last year.

                   ANNIE
        Three-fourteen?  Hmmm...  Look't
        those thighs, Jackson

BACK TO MAX PATKIN -- He finishes his routine.

                   RECORDING OVER P.A.
        Gonna rock, gonna rock around the
        clock tonight.

INT.  PRESS BOX -- NIGHT

                                                  CUT TO:

A WOMAN ANNOUNCER, MARYLOU, 30, speaks into the P.A.  mike.

                   ANNOUNCER
        Let's hear it for Max Patkin--

Applause as Patkin takes his bows, leaves the field, shakes
hands with a the BULL MASCOT LEADING THE APPLAUSE.

                   ANNOUNCER
        "The Greatest Show on Dirt"--your
        own Durham Bulls!

                                                  CUT TO:

INT.  THE DUGOUT

CLOSE ON ANOTHER PLAYER -- MICKEY MCFEE, 23, black.  Smoking
a cigaret--always smoking a cigaret.  He snuffs out his
cigaret and RUNS onto the field with the rest of the team,
as--

EBBY ENTERS THE DUGOUT from the runway.  Larry and Skip
encourage their players running onto the field.  Ebby is
trying to get the zipper on his fly unstuck.  He smiles
broadly at Skip and Larry, and grabs his glove.

                   EBBY
        I'm there, Skip, I'm ready.

                                                  CUT TO:

INT.  THE PRESS BOX

THE RADIO ANNOUNCER, TEDDY CULLINANE, 50, leans into the
radio mike of a very small local station.  Next to him is
the local SPORTSWRITER, WHITEY SHERRARD, 40.  Between them
they've seen a million minor league players come and go.

                   WHITEY
        Is this guy LaLoosh worth a hundred
        grand?  I hear he's a quart low?

                   TEDDY THE RADIO MAN
            (covering the mike)
        He's left handed.  Whattya expect?
            (on the air)
        The Bulls are off to a slow start
        having dropped their first three
        games, but hope to turn it around
        tonight with the professional
        debut of the heralded young left
        hander, Ebby Calvin LaLoosh.
            (beat)
        Stepping In for the Peninsula
        White Sox is leadoff hitter Willie
        Foster

                                                  CUT TO:

EXT.  THE BALLFIELD -- NIGHT

ANGLE TO ANNIE'S BOX SEAT -- Millie has joined Annie and
Jackson.  Clearly, the younger women look up to Annie for
wisdom and insight.

                   ANNIE
        --Millie, you've got to stay out
        of the clubhouse.  It'll just get
        everybody in trouble.

                   MILLIE
        I got lured.

                   ANNIE
        You didn't get "lured".  Women
        never get lured.  They're too
        strong and powerful for that.
        Now say it--"I didn't get lured
        and I will take responsibility
        for my actions".

                   MILLIE
        "I didn't get lured and I will
        take responsibility for my
        actions".

                   ANNIE
        That's better.
            (to Jackson)
        Got the radar ready?

                   JACKSON
        Ready.

JACKSON AIMS A RADAR GUN at the plate.

THE PENINSULA WHITE SOX LEADOFF HITTER steps in.

                   TEDDY THE RADIO MAN (V.O.)
        The word on LaLoosh is that the
        good looking young lefty has a
        major league fastball but sometimes
        has problems with his control

EBBY CALVIN LALOOSH WINDS UP and fires.  The pitch sails
over the batter's head, over the catcher's head, over the
backstop, and CRASHES INTO THE PRESS BOX.

                                                  CUT TO:

INT.  THE PRESS BOX

THE ANNOUNCER AND SPORTSWRITER CRASH to the floor as the
ball smashes into their booth.

                                                  CUT TO:

INT.  THE DUGOUT

SKIP SPITS TOBACCO, mumbles flatly to Larry.

                   SKIP
        Little high.

                   LARRY
            (shouts to EBBY)
        C'mon big 'un, you're okay...

ANNIE'S BOX SEAT -- She turns to Jackson.

                   JACKSON
        Ninety-five miles an hour.

                   ANNIE
        He looks great, just great!

                                                  CUT TO:

EXT.  THE PITCHER'S MOUND

THE CATCHER TALKS TO EBBY, trying to calm him down.

                   CATCHER
        What the hell was that?!  Lighten
        up a little.  Awright?

                   EBBY,
            (to catcher)
        Hey--what's your name again--I'm
        bad with names--

                   CATCHER
        Ed.  You want me to write it on
        my chest?  Jesus ...

                   EBBY
        Sorry.  Hey, Ed, I got a question.

                   CATCHER
        What?

                   EBBY
        Who's the beef sitting behind the
        third base dugout?

                   CATCHER
            (slowly)
        That's Annie Savoy.  Nice eh?
        But that's more woman than you
        ever dreamed of, Rook.  She could
        kick your ass and have you for
        breakfast

THE CATCHER RETURNS to the plate.

INT.  THE PRESS BOX

                                                  CUT TO:

WHITEY AND TEDDY WARILY CLIMB back to their seats.

                   TEDDY
        One ball and no strikes to Willie
        Foster...

                                                  CUT TO:

EBBY'S NEXT PITCH HITS FOSTER in the ribs.  He crumples.

                                                  CUT TO:

ANNIE'S BOX SEAT -- She's writing a note.  She hands it to
Jackson.

                   ANNIE
        Take this to Ebby in the dugout
        between innings.

                   JACKSON
        What's it say?

                   ANNIE
        It says he's not bending his back
        on his follow-through.

JACKSON RUNS OFF with the note.  Annie turns to Millie.

                   ANNIE
        Well let's get down to it, honey--
        how was he?

                   MILLIE
        Well, he fucks like he pitches.
        Sorta all over the place

P.O.V.  EBBY LALOOSH FIRES ANOTHER ONE into the stands.  And--

Hit "Rock Around the Clock"--

                                           DISSOLVE INTO:

QUICK MONTAGE OF EBBY'S FIRST GAME -- Strikeouts and wild
pitches.  A young, gifted, uncontrollable thrower.

                   BILL HALEY AND HIS COMETS
        When the chimes ring five, six
        and seven--We'll be right in
        Seventh Heaven, Gonna rock around
        the clock tonight...

EBBY UNLEASHES A WILD ONE -- And decks the Bull Mascot.

EBBY IN THE DUGOUT READS THE NOTE from Annie.

EBBY STRIKES OUT a Peninsula batter.

EBBY UNLEASHES ANOTHER WILD ONE and a batter hits the dirt.

End "Rock Around the Clock" and--

                                                  CUT TO:

INT.  THE BULL LOCKER ROOM -- NIGHT

SKIP WALKS THROUGH THE PLAYERS ROOM -- Players are up, joking
irreverently.

                   JOSE
        Hey Lefty, hold 'em to 12 runs
        every night, you'll win 20--

                   EBBY
            (he might be serious)
        Had 'em all the way.

A DURHAM PLAYER SITTING HALF DRESSED in front of his locker.
A PICTURE OF JESUS hangs amidst his gear.  The player, JIMMY,
25, has a Bible and prays softly to himself.

                   JIMMY
        Dear Lord, thank you for being
        with us tonight, thank you for
        protecting us from injury and--

DEKE WALKS BY, shaking Jimmy irreverently as he prays.

                   DEKE
        Wake up, wake up--

MICKEY (A BLACK) COMPLAINS TO TONY as they undress.

                   MICKEY
        This league is racist, man.

                   TONY
        Every time you go 0 for 4 you
        think the league is racist-face
        it, Mick, you're an equal
        opportunity "out".

                                                  CUT TO:

THE MANAGER'S OFFICE -- A tiny cubicle, a desk, phone Larry
joins him with the pitching charts.  Skip studies the charts.

                   SKIP
        He walked eighteen?!

                   LARRY
        It's a league record.

                   SKIP
        Struck out eighteen...

                   LARRY
        League record.
            (beat)
        And he hit the Radio Announcer, a
        Sportswriter, and the Bull Mascot
        twice--also league records--
            (beat)
        Joe, the guy's got some serious
        shit.

THE DOOR OPENS -- A PLAYER ENTERS, in street clothes, carrying
his suitcases.  CRASH DAVIS, 30, older than the other players.
And different.  More than just opinions, he actually has a
point of view.  A career minor leaguer, hanging on wherever
he can get a job.  Unlike Ebby--Crash knows a lot about the
world without baseball.  Also unlike Ebby--he loves baseball
desperately.

                   LARRY
        Who're you?

Crash speaks slowly, with a trace of cynicism and pride,
like an old warrior who knows he's just a hired gun.

                   CRASH
        I am the player to be named later.

Beat.  Skip looks out, half dressed, from his cubicle.

                   SKIP
        Crash Davis?

                   CRASH
        The Crash Davis.
            (beat, then nonstop))
        And you, Larry Hockett, should
        recognize me 'cause five years
        ago in the Texas League when you
        were pitching for El Paso and I
        was hitting cleanup for Shreveport,
        you hung a curve on an 0-2 pitch
        of a 3-2 game in bottom of the
        8th and I tattooed it over the
        Goodyear Tire sign, beat you 4-3--
        and I got a free wheel alignment
        from Goodyear.

                   LARRY
            (remembering)
        Ohyeah.  I shoulda throwed a
        slider.  Damn, Crash, how're ya?

                   SKIP
        I'm Joe Riggins.  Sit down

                   CRASH
        I'm too old for this shit.  Why
        the hell am I back in "A" ball?

                   SKIP
        'Cause of Ebby Calvin LaLoosh.
            (beat)
        The Big Club's got a hundred
        grand in him-

                   LARRY
        He's got a million dollar arm and
        a five cent head.

                   SKIP
        --we had the gun on him tonight--
        the last five pitches he threw
        were faster than the first five.
        96 miles an hour, 98, 97, 97.
        97.  (beat) He's got the best
        young arm I've seen in 30 years.

                   LARRY
        But he ain't quite sure which
        plane he's on, y'know what I
        mean...

                   SKIP
        You been around, you're smart,
        you're professional, you know
        what it takes--
            (beat)
        We want you to mature the kid.

                   CRASH
        "Mature" ain't a fuckin' verb.

                   LARRY
        You go to college or what?

                   SKIP
        We want you to room with him on
        the road and stay on his case all
        year.
            (beat)
        He can go all the way.

                   CRASH
        And where can I go?

                   SKIP
        You can keep going to the ballpark
        and keep gettin' paid to do it.
            (beat)
        Beats hell outta working at Sears.

                   LARRY
        Sears sucks, Crash, I tried it
        once.  Sold Lady Kenmores--it's
        nasty, nasty work.

                   SKIP
        Even if it's the Carolina League--
        this is a chance to play everyday.

                   CRASH
            (angrily)
        You don't want a player, you want
        a stable pony.  My Triple A
        contract gets bought out so I can
        hold the Flavor o' the Month's
        dick in the bus leagues?!
            (angrily)
        Fuck this fucking game...  I
        fuckin' quit.

CRASH RISES TO LEAVE -- Picks up his luggage, and turns to
Skip and Larry before exiting.  A deep breath

                   CRASH
        Who we play tomorrow?

Beat.  They know, they share the inability to quit the game.
They're all clinging to the Church of Baseball.

                   SKIP
        Winston-Salem.  Batting practice
        at 4:30.

CRASH LEAVES and as he does -- Ed (the catcher) enters.

                   ED
        You wanted to see me?

                   SKIP
        Yeah, Ed, shut the door...

He does.  Remains standing.  He can see it coming.

                   SKIP
        This is the toughest job a manager
        has, Ed...
            (deep breath)
        But the organization has decided
        to make a change--we're releasing
        you from your contract...

CLOSE ON ED -- Silent.  Motionless.  Empty.

                                                  CUT TO:

INT.  THE LOCKER ROOM --

CRASH PUTS HIS BAG IN A LOCKER as other players return from
the shower.  Crash watches as EBBY SOAKS HIS ELBOW IN A TUB
OF ICE WATER as the sports writer, Whitey, interviews him.

                   WHITEY
        How's it feel to get your first
        professional win?

                   EBBY
        It feels "out there".  A major
        rush.  I mean it doesn't just
        feel "out there" but it feels out
        there.

                   CRASH
        Hopeless.  Utterly fucking
        hopeless.

                                                  CUT TO:

INT.  MAXWELL'S BAR -- LATER THAT NIGHT

Loud country music in the players' hangout and pickup spot.
It's full of players and lots of young women.

MILLIE SITS DOWN NEXT TO YET ANOTHER PLAYER, TONY, 25-- He's
slick, urban, smooth.

                   MILLIE
        Hi, I'm Millie.

                   TONY
        I'm Tony.  I play left field.

                   MILLIE
        I know.

ANNIE SITS IN THE CORNER at her own table.  Max Patkin,
looking spiffy in a turtle neck sweater and double breasted
blazer, sits down next to her.  Old friends.

                   MAX
        Love the game, Annie, love it
            (dead serious)
        When I die I'm gonna have my ashes
        sprinkled around a pitcher's mound
        in some ballpark somewhere--
            (beat)
        --and I'll have a few ashes saved
        for the rosin bag so I'll still
        be in the game after I'm gone.

                   ANNIE
        What a sweet idea-

A COCKTAIL WAITRESS DELIVERS another round to them.

                   ANNIE
        We didn't order this, honey...

                   WAITRESS
            (she points)
        He did.

P.O.V. CRASH DAVIS SITTING ALONE IN THE OTHER CORNER.  HE

waves, and smiles easily.

                   ANNIE
            (to Max)
        Who's that?

                   MAX
        Hey--that's Crash Davis.  He's
        played in more towns than I have.
        Helluva guy--real different...  I
        actually saw him read a book
        without pictures once

                   ANNIE
        Really?  Kinda cute...

ANNIE NODS AT CRASH -- He comes over to her table, greets
Max as an old friend, and introduces himself.

                   CRASH
        I'm Crash Davis.

                   ANNIE
        Annie Savoy.  Wanta dance?

                   CRASH
        I don't dance.

                   ANNIE
        I don't trust a man who don't
        dance.  It ain't natural.

SUDDENLY -- HARD CORE ROCK AND ROLL on the juke box.  Several
couples dance, and out of the pack--

EBBY DANCES WITH A GROUPIE -- Spinning and whirling,
uninhibited and infectious.  He's suddenly dancing with a
different WOMAN, then another, and another...

ANNIE, CRASH AND MAX WATCH the mad performance.

                   MAX
        Who's he dancing with?

                   ANNIE
        All of 'em, I think...

EBBY PUTS ON A ONE MAN SHOW ON THE DANCE FLOOR -- The whole
bar stops to watch him, applauding as he spins to a finish.
A quirkier "Saturday Night Fever" show.  More naive, fun.
He climbs off the floor and joins Annie's table.

                   EBBY
        Thanks for the note--you're right,
        I wasn't bending my back.

                   ANNIE
        You got a live arm there.

He extends his hand to introduce himself.

                   EBBY
        Ebby Calvin LaLoosh.

                   ANNIE
        You need a nickname.

                   EBBY
        That's what I been telling
        everybody!  Wanta dance?

                   CRASH
        She's dancing with me.

                   ANNIE
        Crash, I didn't think you--

                   CRASH
        I'll learn.  C'mon--

                   EBBY
        Just a minute, pal

The two men square off quickly.  Annie mocks them.

                   ANNIE
        You boys gonna fight over little
        me?

CRASH RISES, pulling Annie with him.  But--

EBBY STANDS to challenge Crash.

                   EBBY
        Step outside, pal.

                   CRASH
        Love to--

                   ANNIE
        Oh don't be such guys--

But Crash and Ebby head outside.  She turns to Max--

                   ANNIE
        Hell, Max, wanta dance?

                                                  CUT TO:

EXT.  THE PARKING LOT -- NIGHT

A circle is formed.  Everybody gathers.  Millie clings to
Tony, her guy of the moment.  Crash and Ebby face off.

                   CRASH
        I don't believe in fighting.

                   EBBY
        Pussy.

                   CRASH
        Take the first shot at me.

                   EBBY
        I ain't hitting a man first.

                   CRASH
        Hit me in the chest with this...

CRASH PULLS A BASEBALL from his jacket pocket, tosses it to
Ebby.

                   EBBY
        I'd kill ya.

                   CRASH
        From what I hear you couldn't hit
        a bull in the ass with a slingshot

                   EBBY
        Don't try me.

                   CRASH
        Throw it.  C'mon, right in the
        chest.

                   EBBY
        No way.

                   CRASH
        C'mon, Meat.  You can't hit me
        'cause you're starting to think
        about it already, you're starting
        to think how embarrassing it'll
        be to miss, how all these people
        would laugh.
            (teasing mercilessly)
        C'mon, Rook--show me that million
        dollar arm 'cause I'm getting a
        good idea about the five cent
        head--

EBBY REARS BACK AND FIRES THE BALL -- From ten feet away,
right at Crash's chest.  But, alas--

THE BALL GOES THROUGH A SECOND STORY WINDOW in the distance.
Crash never blinks.

                   CRASH
        Ba11 four.

EBBY IS ENRAGED -- HE CHARGES CRASH, lunging at him.

                   EBBY
        Who the fuck are you?!

CRASH LASHES OUT A SHORT LEFT -- With lightning speed,
effortless.  And brutal.  BANG!  Ebby goes down.  And stays
there stunned.  He looks up.

                   CRASH
        I'm Crash Davis.  Your new catcher.
        And you just got Lesson Number
        One--"Don't think--it can only
        hurt the ballclub".
            (beat)
        Buy ya a drink?

                                                  CUT TO:

INT.  THE CLUB -- NIGHT

ANNIE AND MAX DANCE to Billy Eckstein on the juke box.  Millie
and Tony are also on the dance floor.

                   ECKSTEIN (ON JUKE BOX)
        April in Paris, chestnuts in
        blossom, Holiday tables under the
        tree...

EBBY AND CRASH WATCH FROM THE CORNER TABLE -- Ebby's right
eye is blackened.  He holds a drink on it.

                   EBBY
        We fight, she gets the clown--
        how's that happen?

                   CRASH
        Shut up--I like this song...
            (sings along)
        April in Paris, this is a feeling,
        No one can ever reprieve...

                   EBBY
        She's playing with my mind.

                   CRASH
        It's a damn easy thing to play
        with.

ANNIE SUDDENLY APPEARS at the table.

                   ANNIE
        Well--you boys stopped fighting
        yet?  Are you pals now?  Good.  I
        love a little macho male bonding--
        I think it's sweet even if it's
        probably latent homosexuality
        being "re-channeled" but I believe
        in "re-channeling" so who cares,
        right?
            (beat)
        Shall we go to my place?

                   EBBY
        Which one of us?

                   ANNIE
        Oh both of you, of course...

CLOSE ON EBBY -- His eyes full of fear and wonder.

CLOSE ON CRASH -- He smiles.

THE THREE OF THEM LEAVE the bar together.

                                                  CUT TO:

INT.  ANNIE'S LIVING ROOM -- NIGHT

THE SHRINE OF BASEBALL GLOWS -- Annie lights the candles.

EBBY AND CRASH SIT ON OPPOSITE ENDS OF HER COUCH -- Both men
look around the room with wonder.  Ebby is clearly more
nervous than Crash, who's been in some strange rooms in his
minor league career.

                   ANNIE
        These are the ground rules.
            (beat)
        I hook up with one guy a season--
        I mean it takes me a couple of
        weeks to pick the guy--kinda my
        own spring training...
            (beat)
        And, well, you two are the most
        promising prospects of the season
        so far.
            (beat)
        So...  I thought we should get to
        know each other.

                   CRASH
        Why do you get to choose?  Why
        don't I get to choose?

                   ANNIE
        Actually none of us on this planet
        ever really choose each other.
        It's all Quantum Physics and
        molecular attraction.  There are
        laws we don't understand that
        bring us together and break us
        apart.

                   EBBY
        Is somebody gonna go to bed with
        somebody or what?

                   ANNIE
        You're a regular nuclear meltdown,
        honey--slow down.

Crash rises to leave, and heads for the door.

                   CRASH
        After 12 years in the minor
        leagues, I don't tryout.  Besides--
        I don't believe in, Quantum Physics
        when it comes to matters of the
        heart...or loins.

                   ANNIE
            (challenging him)
        What do you believe in?

Crash at the door.  Annie's question is slightly taunting.
He stops, and speaks with both aloofness and passion:

                   CRASH
        I believe in the soul, the cock,
        the pussy, the small of a woman's
        back, the hanging curve ball,
        high fiber, good scotch, long
        foreplay, show tunes, and that
        the novels of Thomas Pynchon are
        self-indulgent, overrated crap.
            (beat)
        I believe that Lee Harvey Oswald
        acted alone, I believe that there
        oughtta be a constitutional
        amendment outlawing astro-turf
        and the designated hitter, I
        believe in the "sweet spot", voting
        every election, soft core
        pornography, chocolate chip
        cookies, opening your presents on
        Christmas morning rather than
        Christmas eve, and I believe in
        long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses
        that last for 7 days.

                   ANNIE
            (breathless)
        Oh my...
            (softly)
        Don't leave...

                   CRASH
        G'night.

Crash heads out into the night.  Annie hurries to the-door
while Ebby sits on the couch, bewildered.

                   EBBY
        Hey--what's all this molecule
        stuff?

ANNIE STANDS IN THE DOORWAY -- Crash is on the porch.

                   ANNIE
        Wait, Crash--don't go--all I want
        is a date.  I'm not gonna fall in
        love with you or nothin'.

                   CRASH
        I'm not interested in a woman
        who's interested in that boy.

                   ANNIE
        I'm not interested yet.

Ebby appears in the door.

                   EBBY
        Who you calling a "boy"?

                   CRASH
        See ya at the yard, Meat.

Crash walks out into the Durham night.  Ebby and Annie stand
in the doorway.  She speaks softly to Ebby.

                   ANNIE
        No ballplayer ever said "no" to a
        date with me.

                   EBBY
        Well shit, then, let's fuck.

                                                  CUT TO:

INT.  ANNIE'S BEDROOM -- MOMENTS LATER

ANNIE PUTS ON A RECORD -- Edith Piaf sings "Le Trois Cloches".

EBBY STARTS UNDRESSING across the room.

                   ANNIE
        Wait, honey, slow down--I want to
        watch.

She sits in a chair.  Piaf sings.  Ebby practically rips his
shirt off, exposing a great upper body.

                   ANNIE
        No, no, no.  Put it back on and
        take it off slowly.

                   EBBY
        Jesus, what kinda broad are you?

                   ANNIE
        When you know how to make love,
        you'll know how to pitch.
            (turning to the stereo)
        Shh.  I love this part.

Piaf sings.  Annie listens.  Ebby re-buttons, then unbuttons
his shirt.  It drops, revealing his back.

                   ANNIE
        Oh my--what a nice back.

Ebby drops his pants.

                   ANNIE
        No, no, honey...  first the shoes
        and socks.

                   EBBY
        The socks?  It's cold in here.

                   ANNIE
            (sweetly, unthreatening)
        You think Dwight Gooden leaves
        his socks on?

Ebby considers this.  Pulls his pants back up.  Takes his
socks off.  Then his pants.

                   ANNIE
        Ebby honey have you ever been
        handcuffed in bed?

                                                  CUT TO:

EXT.  DOWNTOWN DURHAM -- NIGHT

Deserted streets of the old tobacco town.  Crash walks alone.
He picks up an old newspaper out of a trash can.  He stops
in front of  a store window.  He rolls the newspaper like a
short bat.  He takes a batting stance, and--

CRASH TAKES HIS BATTING STANCE in front of the window,
studying his reflection.  He taken a "swing".  And another.

A GROUP OF OLD BLACK MEN stand in a doorway, watching.

                                                  CUT TO:

INT.  ANNIE'S BEDROOM -'CONTINUOUS NIGHT

CLICK -- A handcuff is locked onto Ebby's wrist.  Both his
arms are outstretched--he's getting very excited.

                   EBBY
        Awright!  I read about stuff like
        this.  Bring it on!

Annie calmly drags a chair over and sits down.

                   ANNIE
        Sweetie, have you ever heard of
        Walt Whitman?

                   EBBY
        Who's he play for?

                   ANNIE
        Well, he sort of pitches for the
        Cosmic All-Stars.

                   EBBY
        Never heard of 'em.

Annie opens a book and begins reading as Piaf sings softly.

                   ANNIE
        Good--then listen.
            (reading)
        "I sing the body electric.  The
        armies of those I love engirth me
        and I engirth them--"

                   EBBY
        We gonna fuck or what?

                   ANNIE
        Shh, shh...
            (reading)
        "They will not let me off till I
        go with them, respond to them,
        and discorrupt them and charge
        them"

                                             DISSOLVE TO:

SAME SCENE -- LATER

                   ANNIE
        "Limitless limpid jets of love
        hot and enormous -- quivering
        jelly of love, white blow and
        delirious juice--

CLOSE ON EBBY'S FACE -- Intrigued, aroused, frightened.

                                                  CUT TO:

EXT.  DOWNTOWN DURHAM -- NIGHT

THE OLD BLACK MAN is tossing wadded up balls of paper at
Crash who takes beautiful, fluid swings with the rolled up
newspaper.  Batting practice.

CLOSE ON CRASH'S EYES -- Studying the "pitches" with intense
concentration, endlessly working on his game.

                                                  CUT TO:

EXT.  THE DURHAM FIELD -- NEXT DAY

LARRY, DEKE, MICKEY AND BOBBY ARE SINGING at home plate as a
pre-game show.  Larry is Diana Ross, the other three are the
Supremes, and the routine is brilliantly tacky.

                   LARRY (AND THE SUPREMES)
        Baby love, oh oh, baby love, I
        need ya oh how I need ya, All ya
        do is treat me bad, Take my heart
        and leave me sad...

                                                  CUT TO:

INT.  DURHAM BULLS LOCKER ROOM -- DAY

JIMMY STANDS ON A BENCH trying to get the players' attention.

                   JIMMY
        Listen up, guys, could I have
        your attention a minute?
            (a few heads turn)
        I'm going to be leading a daily
        chapel service at three In the
        afternoons here in the locker
        room and you're all invited to
        drop by and worship before batting
        practice.

                   BOBBY
        Jimmy, God damn it--loosen up and
        get laid.

BOBBY, 25, smooths the creases of his uniform, preening.

                   JIMMY
        I don't care If you think I'm
        square but I believe what I
        believe.

All heads turn as:

EBBY ENTERS THE LOCKER ROOM -- He looks trashed.

                   BOBBY
        Jesus, Ebby, what truck ran over
        you?

                   EBBY
            (glassy eyed)
        Call me "Nuke".  Annie said it's
        my new nickname.

Lots of teasing from around the clubhouse.

                   DEKE
        Annie nailed you?  That's great,
        means you're gonna have a helluva
        year.  Does she fuck as good as
        they say?

                   EBBY
        We didn't do it, man--she read
        poetry to me all night, I swear.
        It's more tiring than fucking.

EBBY GOES TO HIS LOCKER and starts undressing.  Crash sits
next to him, looking straight ahead.  Bobby nearby.

                   EBBY
        --of love"...hey, Crash, does
        that mean what I think it means?
        What's the deal here?

Crash studies Ebby.

                   CRASH
        Your shower shoes have fungus on
        'em.  You'll never get to the
        Bigs with fungus on your shower
        shoes.
            (beat)
        Think classy and you'll be classy.
        If you win 20 in the Show you can
        let the fungus grow back on your
        shower shoes and the press'll
        think you're colorful.
            (beat)
        Until you win twenty in the Show,
        however, it means you're a slob.

CRASH RISES AND HEADS OUT to the field.  Ebby sits silently,
holding his shower shoes, taking it all in.

                                                  CUT TO:

EXT.  DURHAM BALLPARK -- GAME IN PROGRESS -- DAY

IN THE DUGOUT -- THE GAME FROM A DUGOUT P.O.V.  The players
sit, stand, stir restlessly.  A combination of relaxation
and intensity not visible from the stands.

CRASH IS HANDED HIS BAT and helmet by the bat boy.

                   DEKE
        This guy's bringing some serious
        smoke out there.

DUGOUT P.O.V. THE WINSTON-SALEM PITCHER throwing hard.

                   CRASH
        He ain't got shit.

FOLLOW CRASH INTO THE ON-DECK CIRCLE -- The ritual.  The bat
boy hands him the pine tar rag and he rubs pine tar on the
bat with great care.

CRASH RISES -- Heads to the plate.  Talking to himself.

                   CRASH
        You ain't getting that cheese by
        me, meat.

CRASH TAKES HIS STANCE -- Upright.  Calm.  Head still.

                   CRASH (VOICE OVER)
        Look for the fastball up.  He's
        gotta come with the cheese.  Relax.
        Relax.  Quick bat.  Pop the
        clubhead.  Open the hips.  Relax.
        You're thinking too much.  Get
        outta your fuckin' head, Crash.

CLOSE ON CRASH'S FACE -- His eyes intensely focused.

CRASH'S P.O.V. THE PITCHER -- Starts his windup.

                   CRASH (VOICE OVER)
        Get on top of the ball.  Quick
        bat.  Don't let him in your kitchen--

THE PITCHER DELIVERS -- Crash strides.  Curveball.

Crash swings and misses, offstride.  Strike one.

CRASH QUICKLY STEPS OUT OF THE BOX and picks up dirt.  Rubs
it on his hands.  He's pissed.

                   CRASH (VOICE OVER)
        You stupid fuck, Crash.  What're
        you swinging at a breaking ball
        for?  Why's he starting me off
        with a hammer?  Fuck me.
            (more dirt)
        You're okay.  Stay back.  Stay
        back, you dumb fuck.  Wait.  Wait.

P.O.V. THE PITCHER'S NEXT DELIVERY -- CURVE BALL AWAY.

CRASH STRIDES INTO THE PITCH -- Lashes a line drive down the
first base line.  Just foul.

Crash has started to first.  Pulls up.  Returns slowly to
the plate.  Picks up his bat.

                   CRASH
        Throw that shit again, meat.
        Throw that weak ass shit.
            (beat)
        Now he's gotta try to slip the
        cheese by me.  one and one.

You're on top.  Now bring me the gas--

--P.O.V.  PITCHER'S THIRD DELIVERY -- High and tight.  Right
at Crash's head.  The ball seems to accelerate.  About to
explode his skull.  For a moment--THE FEAR OF DEATH...

CRASH HITS THE DIRT -- It just misses his head.

CRASH CLIMBS OUT OF THE DIRT -- Brushes himself off.

                   CRASH (VOICE OVER)
        This son of a bitch throws hard.
            (beat)
        Annie, Annie, Annie--who is this
        Annie?
            (catching himself)
        Jesus, get outta the box you idiot,
        where's your head?  Get the broad
        outta your head.

CRASH HOLDS UP HIS HAND to the ump.

                   CRASH
        Time out.

                   UMP
        Time out!

CRASH STEPS OUT OF THE BOX -- Motions to the bat boy for the
pine tar rag.  The boy brings it over.  Crash re-applies it
to his bat.

                   BAT BOY
        Get a hit, Crash.

                   CRASH
        Shut up.

CRASH WALKS BACK TO THE BOX -- Talking to himself.

                   CRASH
        Awright, awright.  You've seen
        all his pitches.  Two and one.
        Relax.  Wait.  Quick bat.  You
        can hit this shit--

CRASH IN THE BATTER'S BOX -- Digs in-again.  Takes his stance.
Upright.  Relaxed.  Ready.

                   CRASH (VOICE OVER)
        Shorten up.  Bring the gas...  Be
        quick--be quick--yeah, yeah...

                                                  CUT TO:

ANNIE AND JACKSON IN THE STANDS -- She's writing a note
quickly, and hands it to Jackson, who hurries off.

                                                  CUT TO:

CRASH'S P.O.V. THE PITCHER'S NEXT PITCH -- A major league
fastball.  It explodes to the plate.  Crash swings.  And
misses.  Strike Three.

CRASH WALKS BACK TO THE DUGOUT -- Head high, no show of
emotion.  Almost proud.  An old Warrior, not giving an inch
even in defeat.

HE RE-ENTERS THE DUGOUT -- Sits down and starts putting the
catcher's gear back on.  Deke leans over.

                   DEKE
        Serious heat, eh?

                   CRASH
        He ain't got shit.

THE BATBOY TAKES THE NOTE FROM JACKSON -- And hands it to
Crash, who refuses to accept it, being busy putting his gear
on.

                   BAT BOY
        From Annie.

                   CRASH
        Read it.

                   BAT BOY
        Dear Crash.  You have a lovely
        swing but you're pulling your
        hips out too early.  I'd be happy
        to meet you at the Batting Cage
        tomorrow to discuss it.  Signed,
        Annie.

                   DEKE
        Well if there's one chick'd know
        when you're pulling your hips out
        early, Annie's the one.

Crash doesn't seem too amused.  He grabs the note, and the
pen hanging from the starting lineup card taped to the dugout
wall.  He scrawls a quick note.

                                                  CUT TO:

ANNIE'S PRIVATE BOX -- She's watching the players through
binoculars as Jackson returns with the note.

                   ANNIE
            (looking through the
            glasses)
        What'd he say?

Jackson looks at the note uneasily, then reads--

                   JACKSON
        It says..."I want to-make...
        love to you.  Crash".

ANNIE PUTS DOWN THE GLASSES -- Takes the note.

                   ANNIE
        Oh my...

                                                  CUT TO:

EXT.  A LOCAL BATTING CAGE DAY

ANNIE DIGS IN AT THE PLATE -- Bat in hand.  Crash a few feet
away.  Annie spits on her hands, wear batting glove, pumps
the bat back and forth.

THE MECHANICAL PITCHING MACHINE DELIVERS -- Kawoosh.

ANNIE SWINGS -- Lashes out a line drive.  Crash smiles.

                   ANNIE
        See my hips?

                   CRASH
        Yep.

                   ANNIE
        I think Thomas Pynchon's a genius.

                   CRASH
        When you're hitting you shouldn't
        think about anything but hitting.
            (beat)
        But you shouldn't think about it
        too much.  The trick is to use
        your brain to not use your brain.

                   ANNIE
        But you were pulling your hips
        last night.

                   CRASH
        So...Wanta make love?

ANNIE SWINGS AND MISSES the next pitch.

                   ANNIE
        I'm committed to Nuke for the
        season.  You had your chance the
        other night.

                   CRASH
        What'you see in that guy--he's
        dim, pretty boy.  a young, wild,

                   ANNIE
        Young men are uncomplicated.
            (Crash mutters)
        And he's not "dim".  He's just
        inexperienced.  My job is to give
        him "life-wisdom" and help him
        make it to the major leagues.

                   CRASH
        That's my job too.

ANNIE SWINGS AND MISSES another pitch.

                   ANNIE
        Damn.

                   CRASH
        You're pulling your hips out.

                   ANNIE
        But they're nice hips.
            (beat)
        I looked up your records-- You've
        hit 227 home runs in the minors.
        That's great!

ANNIE FOULS ONE OFF and digs in gamely.

                   CRASH
        Don't tell anybody.

                   ANNIE
        Why not?  If you hit twenty homers
        this year you'll be the all time
        minor league champ!  The record's

                   CRASH
        247 home runs in the minors would
        be a dubious honor, if ya think
        about it.

                   ANNIE
        Oh no, I think it'd be great!
        The Sporting News should know
        about it.

                   CRASH
        No.  Please.

ANNIE SWINGS AND MISSES another one.

                   ANNIE
        Damn.

                   CRASH
        Let me.

CRASH STEPS IN TO HIT -- He takes his familiar stance.  The
pitch comes.  Crash drills it.

                   CRASH
        Your place or mine?

                   ANNIE
        Despite my love of weird
        metaphysics and my rejection of
        most Judao-Christian ethics, I
        am, within the framework of a
        baseball season, monogamous.

                   CRASH
        Fact is you're afraid of meeting
        a guy like me 'cause It might be
        real so you sabotage it with some
        bullshit about commitment to a
        young boy you
        can boss around--
            (whack--a line drive)
        Great deal.  You get to write
        self- indulgent little poems all
        winter about how hard it is to
        find a man even though you just
        sent him packing-
            (whack--a line drive)
        So what do you really want?  You
        wanta be a tragic woman figure
        wallowing in the bullshit of magic?
            (whack--a line drive)
        Or do you want a guy?

The pitching machine arm flaps.  Empty.  Silence.

                   ANNIE
        Oh Crash...you do make speeches...

Crash puts the bat down, heads out the gate.  She follows.

A LITTLE LEAGUE TEAM ARRIVES -- Twenty-five 10 year olds in
uniform with a couple PARENT COACHES.

                   LITTLE LEAGUER #1
        Hey, are you Crash Davis!  Can I
        have a autograph?!

CRASH STOPS TO SIGN AUTOGRAPHS amidst 25 Little Leaguers.

                   CRASH
            (as he signs autographs)
        Well, Annie, your place or mine?

                   ANNIE
        You got me all confused.

                   CRASH
        A batter has two tenths of a second
        to decide whether to swing--

                   ANNIE
        I'm not a real batter.  I'm a
        woman.

                   LITTLE LEAGUER
        Hey, when are you guys gonna start
        winning?  You're terrible!

                   ANNIE
        It's a long season, boys.

SUDDENLY A VOICE -- Nuke pulls up, gets out of his Porsche.

                   NUKE
        Hey!
            (coming over)
        What're you guys doing here--
        stealing my girl?

                   CRASH
        Now, Nuke, would I do a thing
        like that?
            (to the little leaguers)
        Hey kids, this is the great Ebby
        Calvin "Nuke" LaLoosh.

                   LITTLE LEAGUERS
        It's Nuke, it's Nuke!  Can I have
        your autograph?!  etc.

                   NUKE
        No prob, kids--

And suddenly Nuke is swept up into a sea of Little Leaguers.
Crash smiles as he turns Annie and the kids over to Nuke.

                   CRASH
        See you guys at the ballpark.

Crash leaves Annie with Nuke and 25 Little Leaguers.

                                                  CUT TO:

EXT.  CRASH GETS INTO HIS CAR -- CONTINUOUS

AN AGING SHELBY MUSTANG CONVERTIBLE -- The paint's fading, a
couple dings in the body, but loaded under the hood.

CRASH PUNCHES HIS TAPE DECK -- Sam Cooke's "You Send Me".

ANNIE BITES HER FIST watching Crash leave.

                                             DISSOLVE TO:

INT.  ANNIE'S BEDROOM -- DAY

The sounds of lovemaking in a darkened room lit only by a
few candles.

                   ANNIE
        Yes, yes, yesnmmmmyes...
            (beat)
        Oh my...
            (several beats)
        Oh, that was just fabulous, Crash.

Several beats of silence.

                   NUKE
        Crash?

He flips on a lamp near the bed.

                   NUKE
        You mean Nuke.  You said "Crash".

                   ANNIE
        I didn't say "Crash".  I said
        Nuke.

                   NUKE
        You said "Crash".

                   ANNIE
        Honey, don't ever listen to a
        woman when she's making love.
        They'll say the strangest things.

                   NUKE
        You said "Crash".

                   ANNIE
        Would you rather me be making
        love to him, using your name, or
        making love to you, using his
        name?

Nuke considers this fabulous logic.

                   NUKE
        Yeah maybe you're right.

                   ANNIE
        You see how nice things are when
        we go slow?

Nuke sighs; and lets his head sink in the pillow.

                   NUKE
        Mmm, hmmm.
            (beat)
        You shoulda seen how many people
        came to the airport to see me
        off.  When I got drafted first it
        was the happiest day of my Father's
        life.
            (beat)
        He likes baseball more than I
        do...

                   ANNIE
        You can learn to like it.

                   NUKE
        I wanted to be the host of Dance
        Fever, somethin' like that...

                   ANNIE
        Y'know if you make it to the Bigs
        you could still become the host
        of Dance Fever.  Baseball's a
        good stepping stone for things
        like that.

                   NUKE
        God, I never thought of that.

                   ANNIE
            (sweetly)
        There is a lot of things you never
        thought of, sweetie--now get some
        rest for tonight's game.

Nuke rests his head on Annie's shoulder.  His eyes are wide
open and full of nervous energy.

                                                  CUT TO:

EXT.  DURHAM BASEBALL PARK -- DUSK

NUKE ON A PAY PHONE -- In his uniform.  Players warming up
in the background as the ground crew prepares the field.

                   NUKE
        Hello?  Dad?  This is Ebby.
            (beat)
        Yeah, I know, I know--you got the
        Durham papers yet?  Well I been a
        little wild...
            (defensively)
        These hitters down here are better
        than the ones in high school ...
            (trying to change
            subject)
        How's Mom?  Yeah?  Well I am trying
        hard...  I am bending my
        back...you're not coming down'
        here to visit just yet, are you?
            (beat)
        Can I talk to Mom?

                                                  CUT TO:

EXT.  HOME PLATE -- THE BALLPARK NIGHT

THE MAYOR OF DURHAM AND THE CITY COUNCIL stand at a mike in
front of home plate.  300 LITTLE LEAGUERS in uniform are
lined up along the foul line, restrained by a rope.

                   VOICE OVER P.A.
        Ladies and gentlemen, the Mayor
        of Durham, the honorable Mutt
        Clark...

THE MAYOR STEPS to the mike.  A classic Southern mayor.

                   MAYOR
        Welcome to the "Atlantic Seaboard
        Tobacco Growers City Council Little
        League Cash Drop Night"!

As the honorable Mutt Clark drones on--we INTERCUT:

                                                  CUT TO:

EXT.  THE BULLPEN -- CONTINUOUS

NUKE IS WARMING UP TO PITCH -- Crash and Larry watch him
closely, giving advice.  As Nuke delivers--.

                   CRASH
        Drive off your back leg.  You
        pitch with your legs as much as
        your arms-

                   NUKE
        I thought I was--

                   CRASH
        Don't think.

A MANGY DOG EATS FROM A DISH provided by the players.  A
couple kids sit with the players.

MILLIE SITS DOWN NEXT TO A PLAYER -- BOBBY, 25.

                   MILLIE
        Hi, I'm Millie.

                   BOBBY
        I'm married.

JOSE FASHIONS A SMALL CROSS OUT OF CHICKEN BONES and rubs it
on his bat.  Bobby notices this.

                   BOBBY
        What's that?

                   JOSE
        Chicken bone cross take the curse
        off this bat and bring me hits.

                   BOBBY
        You a God damn witch?

                   JOSE
        Yes.  A switch hitting witch.
        Very common in Puerto Rico.

                   BOBBY
        Will that work for me?

                   JOSE
        If you believe in Voodoo.

                   BOBBY
        I'm 0 for 16!  Gimme some of that
        shit.

BOBBY HOLDS OUT HIS BAT for Jose to rub with the cross.

                   JOSE
        No, that is not belief.  That is
        desperation.

                   BOBBY
        C'mon, God damn it, gimme some!

ALL HEADS TURN,- A HELICOPTER APPEARS ABOVE THE FIELD

                                                  CUT TO:

BACK TO THE MAYOR AND CITY COUNCIL -- Hair and hats blowing
from the chopper turbulence.

                   MAYOR
        ...five, four, three, two,
        one...let 'er go!  One thousand
        big ones!

THE HELICOPTER DUMPS HUNDREDS OF DOLLAR BILLS above the field.

The night sky fills with fluttering money THE ROPE IS DROPPED --
THREE HUNDRED LITTLE LEAGUERS charge across the infield to
the falling money, scooping it up wildly, brawling, shoving,
clawing for the cash.

As the money flutters down...

                                             DISSOLVE TO:

EXT.  DURHAM BASEBALL STADIUM -- SHORT TIME LATER

CLOSE ON THE ROSIN BAG on the mound.  A hand picks it up.

Puffs of rosin "smoke".  Nuke is on the mound.

NUKE NERVOUSLY WALKS AROUND THE MOUND -- Just before the
first batter.  He picks up the rosin bag.  Digs a slot for
his lead foot to land.  And CRASH APPROACHES, in full gear,
mask tipped up on his head.

                   CRASH
        Don't try to strike everybody
        out.
            (beat)
        Strikeouts are boring.  They're
        Fascist.  Throw some ground balls,
        it's more Democratic.

CRASH TURNS AND HEADS TO THE PLATE and we hear the beginning
of Nuke's interior monologue.

                   NUKE (VOICE OVER)
        What's this guy know, eh?  If
        he's so great why's he been in
        the minors for ten years?  And if
        he's so hot how come Annie wants
        me instead of him.

CRASH TURNS AROUND HALF WAY TO THE PLATE and returns to the
mound, as if he knows everything Nuke's thinking.

                   CRASH
        And listen, meat.  You don't know
        shit.  If you want to get to the
        Show, you'll listen to me.  She
        only wants you 'cause she can
        boss you around, got it?
            (beat, complete tone
            change)
        Relax, have a ball out here.
        This game's fun, okay?  Fun, God
        damn it.
            (beat)
        And don't squeeze the ball so
        tight.  It's an egg.  Hold it
        like an egg.

CRASH SMILES -- And trots back to the plate.

NUKE'S P.O.V.  The first batter steps in.  Crash gives the
sign for the pitch.

                   NUKE
        Fun?  What's he know about fun?
            (beat)
        Why's he calling for a curveball?
        I wanta bring heat.

                   CRASH (VOICE OVER)
        Shake off the pitch.  Throw what
        you wanta.

NUKE SHAKES OFF THE PITCH -- Here comes Crash back out to
the mound before Nuke's thrown a pitch.

                   CRASH
        Why you shaking me off?

                   NUKE
        I wanta throw the heater to
        announce my presence with
        authority.

                   CRASH
        "To announce your fucking presence
        with authority"?  This guy's a
        first ball fastball hitter.  He's
        looking for heat.

                   NUKE
        But he ain't seen my heat--

                   CRASH
        Awright, meat, give him your heat.

CRASH RETURNS ONE MORE TIME to behind the plate.

CRASH CROSSES THE PLATE, past the hitter.  He speaks to the
opposing leadoff batter.

                   CRASH
        Fastball.

                   NUKE (VOICE OVER)
        Why's he always call me "Meat"?
        I'm the guy driving a Porsche.

NUKE WINDS UP AND DELIVERS -- A fastball.

THE LEADOFF HITTER TEES OFF on the pitch and sends a line
shot over the right field fence.

CLOSE ON BILLBOARD -- "Hit Cow, Win Steak" sign, The home
run hits the cow on a target painted on the cow's rump.

The COW'S MOUTH OPENS AND MOOS.

THE BATTER STANDS AND WATCHES the home run, admiring the
shot, enjoying the moment.  CRASH GETS IN HIS FACE instantly--
and gets very tough.

                   CRASH
        What're you lookin' at?!  You're
        showing up my pitcher, bush--get
        your ass in gear!

THE BATTER TAKES OFF ON A HOME RUN TROT -- Slightly scared.

AND CRASH HEADS TO THE MOUND where Nuke watches the Mooing
Cow and the circling batter with dismay.  Crash smiles.

                   CRASH
        Guy hit the shit outta that one,
        eh?

                   NUKE
        Well, I held it like an egg.

                   CRASH
        An' he scrambled the son of a
        bitch.
            (beat)
        Having fun yet?

                   NUKE
        I'm having a blast.
            (beat)
        God, that sucker teed off on it
        just like he knew I was gonna
        throw a fastball.

                   CRASH
        He did know.

                   NUKE
        How?

                   CRASH
        I told him.

CRASH SMILES -- Drops the mask, returns behind the plate.

NUKE SIGHS -- Takes a deep breath.

                   NUKE
        Don't think.  Just throw.  Don't
        think.  Just throw.

NUKE'S WINDUP AND DELIVERY -- A fastball.  A powerful, clean,
overwhelming fastball.  Strike one.

                   NUKE (VOICE OVER)
        God, that was beautiful.  What'd
        I do?

NUKE WINDS UP AND DELIVERS HIS NEXT PITCH -- A monster.  An
Ebby Calvin "Nuke" LaLoosh fastball.  Twenty feet wide of
the plate.

THE BULL MASCOT DIVES FOR COVER -- The ball hits the bat
rack.  Bats go flying.

                                                  CUT TO:

ANNIE IN HER BOX SEAT -- Jackson with the radar gun.

                   ANNIE
        Oh dear....easy honey...

                   JACKSON
        Ninety-five miles an hour...

                                                  CUT TO:

BACK TO NUKE -- Pacing the mound.  Looks In for the sign.

NUKE PITCHES AGAIN -- The batter lines a single to left.

NUKE'S P.O.V.  THE MANAGER AND PITCHING COACH TALKING

                   NUKE (VOICE OVER)
        Christ, Skip and Larry are talking
        about me.  Don't get anybody warm
        in the pen yet.  I'm okay.  I'm
        having fun.

NUKE PITCHES AGAIN -- The batter lines a single to right.

NUKE'S P.O.V. THE BULLPEN -- TWO PITCHERS start warming up.

                   NUKE (VOICE OVER)
        Don't yank me in the first, man.

NUKE'S P.O.V. -- THE MANAGER comes out to the mound to talk.

                   NUKE (VOICE OVER)
        Aw, shit.

THE MANAGER AND CRASH MEET NUKE on the mound.

                   SKIP
        Relax.

                   NUKE
        Don't pull me, Skip.  I'll settle
        down.  I'm okay!

                   SKIP
            (fatherly)
        Relax, Nuke, Relax...
            (to Crash)
        What kinda stuff's he got?

                   CRASH
        I don't know.  I haven't caught
        anything yet.

                   SKIP
        What're you thinking about out
        here, Nuke?

                   NUKE
        I'm trying not to think.

                   SKIP
        Good.  But just 'cause you ain't
        s'posed to think don't mean you
        ain't s'posed to use your head.

SKIP SLAPS NUKE ON THE ASS in a gruff, reassuring way, and
returns to the dugout.  Leaving Nuke and Crash.

                   CRASH
        Have some fun, God damn it.

CRASH SMILES -- And as he returns to the plate...

                                                  CUT TO:

ANNIE WATCHES IN THE STANDS with Jackson and the radar gun.

                   ANNIE
        Here we go again, Jackson, hold
        on tight...

Hit Professor Longhair rock and roll...and:

                                             DISSOLVE TO:

NUKE DELIVERS -- A batter grounds out weakly.

DURHAM AT BAT -- DUGOUT -- Crash lets Jose rub his bat with
a chicken bone cross.  Then steps to the plate and--

CRASH HITS A LONG HOME RUN -- And circles the bases.

NUKE DELIVERS -- A line drive nearly undresses him.  Runners
circle the bases.

                                             DISSOLVE TO:

INT.  LOCKER ROOM -- NIGHT

THE SHOWERS -- Naked bodies in the steamy room.  No joking
around.  A team on losing streak.

SUDDENLY SKIP STEPS INTO THE SHOWER in his uniform and angrily
throws an armload of bats into the shower.

                   SKIP
        Anybody not outta the shower in
        ten seconds gonna get fined a
        hundred bucks.  One, two...

THE SHOWER EMPTIES in seconds.  Players grab a seat, and:

WHITEY THE SPORTSWRITER ENTERS as he does every night.

                   SKIP
        No press for five minutes, Whitey.

                   WHITEY
        I'm doing a column on the Myth of
        Sisyphus as manifest in a minor
        league losing streak, Joe, and I
        thought

SKIP PICKS UP A CHAIR AND FIRES IT AT WHITEY -- The chair
crashes into a locker.  Whitey hurries out.

                   SKIP
        If I ever need a brain transplant
        I'll choose a sportswriter 'cause
        that way I'd be getting a brain
        that's never been used.

A couple snickers from the players.  Skip whirls.

                   SKIP
        What're you laughing at?!

Silence.

The Durham Bulls sit and stand quietly.

                   SKIP
        You guys lollygag the ball around
        the infield, ya lollygag you're-
        way to first, ya lollygag in an'
        outta the dugout.  You know what
        that makes ya
            (beat)
        Lollygaggers.  What's our record,
        Larry?

                   LARRY
        We're eight and sixteen.

                   SKIP
        Eight and sixteen?!  How'd we
        ever win eight?
            (beat)
        Jose, what's this sign?

SKIP FLASHES THROUGH A SEQUENCE of signs.  Hand to face,
hand to belt, hand brushes letters, etc.

                   JOSE
        That's the steal.

                   SKIP
        Wrong.  That's the bunt.  This is
        the steal.

SKIP FLASHES QUICKLY ANOTHER SEQUENCE -- Hand to face, hands
to hands.  He speaks rapidly--a private language.

                   SKIP
        Face is "skin to skin".  Skin
        starts with "S".  "S" stands for
        steal if it follows the indicator
        which is hand to eye 'cause the
        word "indicator" starts with an
        "I" so I figure "eye"--
            (touches his eye)
        --would remind you of "I" for
        indicator to indicate that what
        follows is the sign.  I figure
        wrong-- You're a buncha
        lollygaggers.
            (beat)
        This is a simple game.
            (beat)
        ya throw the ball, ya hit the
        ball, ya catch the ball.

CLOSE ON FACES OF THE PLAYERS -- Sitting silently.

                                                  CUT TO:

EXT.  THE BALLPARK SIMULTANEOUS -- NIGHT

THE SIX PLAYERS' WIVES WAIT in a cluster.  Three of them
have SMALL CHILDREN.  The children are crying.

The long-suffering women try to calm the kids.

                   BOBBY'S WIFE
        Bobby went hitless again.  He's
        gonna be in a terrible mood...
        terrible.  How'd Mickey do?

                   MICKEY'S WIFE
        He got two hits.

                   BOBBY'S WIFE
        Lucky you.

                                                  CUT TO:

BACK INSIDE THE LOCKER ROOM -- Skip is winding down.

                   SKIP
        We can't win at home--how we gonna
        win on the road?  We got a twelve
        day road trip starting tomorrow.
            (beat)
        Bus leaves at six In the morning.

SKIP HEADS BACK INSIDE his little office with Larry.

                                                  CUT TO:

INSIDE SKIP'S OFFICE -- He and Larry open a couple beers.

THE DOOR OPENS -- BOBBY ENTERS wearing only a towel.

                   BOBBY
        You wanted to see me?

                   SKIP
        Yeah, Bobby, shut the door.
            (he does)
        This is the toughest job a manager
        has...
            (beat)
        But the organization has decided
        to make a change--

                   BOBBY
        Skip, I know I'm in a slump but I
        hit the ball hard tonight, right
        at 'em.  A couple flares drop in,
        and I'm back in the groove!

The nearly naked 25 year old man pleads helplessly--his career
is over.

                                                  CUT TO:

EXT.  THE STADIUM -- NIGHT

THE PLAYERS EXIT -- The Groupies wait in a cluster.  The
wives wait in another group.  Bobby's wife sees Bobby.

                   BOBBY'S WIFE
            (to child)
        There's Daddy!  Wave to Daddy!

--P.O.V. BOBBY COMING OUT OF THE CLUBHOUSE -- Another player
has his arm around Bobby, consoling him.  The wife knows.

                   BOBBY'S WIFE
        Oh God...

                                             DISSOLVE TO:

EXT.  STADIUM PARKING LOT -- DAWN

THE DURHAM BULLS TEAM BUS is parked.  Luggage is loaded.
Sleepy players arriving, escorted by wives and girlfriends.

ANNIE BIDS NUKE GOODBYE -- Off to the side.  She pulls
something from her handbag and hands it to Nuke.  A pair of
WOMEN'S RED PANTIES, with lace and frills.

                   ANNIE
        I want you to wear these on the
        road trip when you pitch.

                   NUKE
        What?

                   ANNIE
        They'll fit snugly against your
        balls in such a wonderful way
        that you'll start seeing things
        differently--plus they'll remind
        you of me which is better than
        thinking about those nasty hitters.

                   NUKE
        Jesus, Annie, I don't know--

                   ANNIE
        You've been pitching out of the
        wrong side of your brain.  These'll
        help move things to the right
        side.

                   NUKE
        Big League pitchers don't use
        these.

                   ANNIE
        They did when they were in the
        Carolina League.

NUKE STUFFS THE PANTIES in his pocket, bewildered.  A small
kiss from Annie, and he hurries to the bus.

                                                  CUT TO:

INT.  LOCKER ROOM -- DAWN

PLAYERS THROW THEIR GEAR into their travel bags.

A PAPER BEER CUP IS TAPED TO THE WALL -- With a sign:

"Married men deposit wedding rings here for road trips".

CLOSE ON THE CUP -- A ring is dropped in, and another, and...

We begin hearing Annie's VOICE OVER:

                   ANNIE (VOICE OVER)
        A woman should never ask questions
        about road trips.

                                                  CUT TO:

EXT.  THE PARKING LOT -- DAWN

THE TEAM BUS PULLS OUT -- Wives and girlfriends head back to
their apartments, leaving:

ANNIE WALKING BACK ROME -- Several blocks to her house.

                   ANNIE (VOICE OVER)
        Men don't realize that women always
        know when they've been unfaithful.
            (beat)
        The fact is, upon exact moment of
        penetration--the woman knows.

AS ANNIE WALKS BACK through Durham...

                                             DISSOLVE TO:

EXT.  HIGHWAY THROUGH THE SMOKY MOUNTAINS EARLY MORNING

THE TEAM BUS ROLLS through the North Carolina landscape.

                   ANNIE (VOICE OVER)
        This sort of spiritual awareness
        can be a mixed blessing, especially
        if you're dating a ballplayer.  I
        believe a woman oughta take care
        of her man so thoroughly that he
        can go on the road for a few days
        without having the desire to search
        out another pair of panties
            (self-aware)
        That is probably, however, my
        most ridiculous belief.
            (sigh)
        I just hope the boys start winning
        soon.  In some profound way I
        fear that a last place team is a
        reflection on its women...

THE BUS ROLLS through North Carolina.

                                                  CUT TO:

INT.  THE BUS -- MORNING

SKIP SITS IN THE FRONT of the bus, doing a crossword puzzle.

LARRY READS A BOOK -- "How to Make a Million Dollars in Real
Estate with No Money Down".

DEKE TURNS UP HIS TAPE DECK -- George Jones sings "He Stopped
Loving Her Today".

MICKEY TURNS UP HIS TAPE DECK across the aisle -- Aretha
Franklin sings "R-E-S-P-E-C-T".

DEKE TURNS HIS VOLUME LOUDER -- Mickey does likewise, and
soon we have DUELING TAPE DECKS.  C & W going head to head
with R & B.  A cacophony.

SKIP LEAPS TO HIS FEET, WHIRLS and shouts.

                   SKIP
        I got one word to say to you--
        Shut up!

Silence.

And then from the back of the bus, some soft, gentle, but
slightly dissonant guitar chords.

THE BACK OF THE BUS -- Nuke sits across the aisle from Crash,
who's re-reading Thomas Pynchon.  Nuke has a guitar and is
struggling with some chords to "Try a Little Tenderness".
He butchers the chords and the words.

                   NUKE
            (singing softly)
        Oh she may get wooly, women do
        get wooly, because of all the
        stress...

                   CRASH
            (in disgust)
        Gimme that.

CRASH STRONGARMS THE GUITAR from Nuke.

                   CRASH
        I hate people who get the words
        wrong.  It ain't "woolly" it's
        "weary" and it nobody's got stress,
        they're wearing a dress.
            (beat)
        Listen.

CRASH WHIPS THROUGH THE FIRST FEW BARS of the song.

                   CRASH
            (sings softly)
        Oh she may be weary, Young girls
        do get weary, Wearing the same
        old dress...

HE SHOVES THE GUITAR back at Nuke.

                   NUKE
        How come you don't like me?

                   CRASH
        'Cause you don't respect yourself,
        which is your problem, but you
        don't respect the game--and that's
        my problem.
            (beat)
        You got a gift.

                   NUKE
        What do I got?

                   CRASH
        A gift.  When you were a baby the
        gods reached down and turned your
        left arm into a thunderbolt.

Nuke looks at his left arm rubs his shoulder curiously.

                   CRASH
        You got a Hall of Fame arm but
        you're pissing it away.

                   NUKE
        I ain't pissing nothing away--I
        got a Porsche already.  A 944
        with A.C. and a quadraphonic
        Blaupunkt.

                   CRASH
        You don't need a quadraphonic
        Blaupunkt--you need a curve ball.
            (beat)
        In the Show, everybody can hit
        the fastball.

                   NUKE
        You been in the Majors?

                   CRASH
        Yep.

Tony and Deke overhear this and turn around.  And Crash gets
wistful, lyrical, and even slightly hopeful.

                   CRASH
        I was in the Show for 21 days,
        once.
            (beat)
        It was the greatest 21 days of my
        life.  You never touch your luggage
        in the show--somebody else handles
        your bags.  It's great.
            (beat)
        The ballparks are like cathedrals,
        the hotels all have room service,
        the women have long legs and brains--
        it's a smorgasbord.

                   DEKE
        The women are hot, eh?

                   CRASH
        Yeah--and so are the pitchers.
        They throw ungodly breaking stuff
        in the Show--exploding sliders.

Nuke, Tony, and Deke murmur in awe at Crash's pronouncement.

                   CRASH
        You could be one of those guys--
        but you don't give a fuck, Meat.

                   NUKE
        God damn it I'm sick of you calling
        me "Meat"!  You wanta step outside!

CRASH HOPS TO HIS FEET as the bus barrels along, grabbing
Nuke by the collar.

                   CRASH
        Yeah, let's go.

Nuke quickly has second thoughts--Crash can be terrifying.

                   NUKE
        No.  Wait a minute.  Calm down,
        Crash...

Nuke sits back down.  Calms.  Reaches for a baseball sitting
nearby.  He hands the ball to Crash.

                   NUKE
        Teach me how to throw a breaking
        ball.

Crash takes the ball gently and speaks softly:

                   CRASH
        As I was saying ya hold it like
        an egg.

As the bus rolls through the country:

A LATE 60'S OLDS CONVERTIBLE ROARS PAST -- Max Patkin at the
wheel.  He waves at the team bus and honks.

The opening bars on the National Anthem--"Oh Say Can You
See"

And Max roars off through the rolling green-landscape...

Hit Hank Williams music to play over:

                                             DISSOLVE TO:

EXT.  WINSTON-SALEM BASEBALL STADIUM -- DAY

MAX PATKIN COACHES THIRD in his comic routine, now, for the
Winston-Salem team, as Durham is in the field.

A WINSTON-SALEM BATTER lines a double off the wall.

                                                  CUT TO:

INT.  DURHAM RADIO STATION -- DAY

TEDDY THE ANNOUNCER re-creates the game for broadcast with a
several second delay.

HIS ASSISTANT (P.A.  ANNOUNCER FROM THE BALLPARK) has a phone
to her ear, and writes down each play on a piece of paper,
holding it up for Teddy who enhances shamelessly in his ON
THE AIR "play by play".

CLOSE ON PAPER -- His assistant writes "DOUBLE TO LEFT".

TEDDY HITS A TINY MALLET against a jar.  Thunk.  The sound
of ball hitting bat.  He punches one of several tape cassettes
cued up.  A crowd roars.  An array of special effects is at
his fingertips.

                   TEDDY (ON THE AIR)
        ...double off the wall by Higgins,
        and once again the Durham pitchers
        are unable to get the first out
        of the Inning...

HIS.  ASSISTANT WRITES ANOTHER NOTE -- "ERROR MCFEE"

Thunk -- The mallet again.

                   TEDDY (ON THE AIR)
        Line drive to center--a diving
        stab by McFee--oohhhh!  Ball gets
        by his glove, another run in and
        the crowd loves it--

PUNCHES A CASSETTE -- A crowd roars.

                                                  CUT TO:

EXT.  HIGHWAY THROUGH SMOKY MOUNTAINS -- NIGHT

The bus rolls through a small town.

                                                  CUT TO:

EXT.  CHEAP MOTEL IN GREENSBORO -- DAWN

THE TEAM BUS PULLS IN -- Players stagger off, half asleep.

                   TEDDY (ON THE AIR) O.S.
        Bulls will attempt to end a six
        game losing streak against the
        Greensboro Astros with Nuke LaLoosh
        on the hill...

                                                  CUT TO:

INT.  GREENSBORO BALLPARK LOCKER ROOM -- DAY

NUKE DRESSES FOR THE GAME -- He pulls the RED PANTIES out of
his bag.  Looks around the clubhouse.  Nobody sees them.
He's embarrassed anyway--and stuffs them back.

                                                  CUT TO:

EXT.  GREENSBORO BALLPARK DAY

NUKE WINDS AND DELIVERS -- The batter swings, and:

                                                  CUT TO:

INT.  RADIO STATION -- DAY

TEDDY AND HIS ASSISTANT -- A note is held up, "Single"--

THUNK -- The mallet strikes.

                   TEDDY ON THE AIR
        Base hit centerfield off LaLoosh...

HIS ASSISTANT (ON THE PHONE) SCRAWLS another quick note.

THUNK THUNK THUNK -- A rapid sequence of the mallet striking
the percussive box, and:

                   TEDDY ON THE AIR
        That closes the book on LaLoosh
        today, 5 earned runs, 5 hits, 5
        strikeouts, 5 walks, 5 wild
        pitches...

                                                  CUT TO:

EXT.  GREENSBORO BALLPARK -- DAY

SKIP REMOVES NUKE FROM THE GAME and he heads for the showers.

                                                  CUT TO:

INT.  ANNIE'S KITCHEN -- DAY

ANNIE SITS WITH MILLIE at the kitchen table, listening to
the radio.  Annie sighs.  Millie consoles her.

                                                  CUT TO:

INT.  GREENSBORO LOCKER ROOM -- DAY

NUKE IN THE SHOWERS ALONE -- Letting the water run over him.

The voice of Teddy an the air, editorializing shamelessly.

                   TEDDY (ON THE AIR)
        It's time to tell it like it is,
        sports fans--and this is the most
        wretched road trip I've seen in
        20 years, and possibly the worst
        Durham team in half a century.
            (beat)
        Where are the great Bull players
        of yesteryear?  Where are the
        Footsie Blakes, the Digger O'Dells,
        the Gus Palowitzes?

TEDDY'S VOICE PLAYS OVER road trip images:

NUKE STARTS TO PUT ON THE RED PANTIES -- Changes his mind,
and hides them again.

THE TEAM BUS rolling across North Carolina.

THE TEAM BUS at a drive through hamburger stand somewhere in
the Smoky Mountains.  Sack after sack of fast food is passed
through the window to Skip.

THE TEAM BUS PULLS INTO YET ANOTHER HOTEL and this time, a
Bus with a sign--"Holiday on Ice" pulls in next to them.

                   TEDDY ON THE AIR
        Is the modern athlete a pale
        imitation of the great old
        warriors?  Only Crash Davis stands
        out this year, begging the
        question, "What are these boys
        thinking about, 'cause it sure
        ain't baseball".

                                                  CUT TO:

EXT/INT.  THE BUS IN FRONT OF THE KINGSTON HOTEL -- NIGHT

As the players rise in the bus, Deke is trying to work up
excitement about the "Holiday on Ice" bus from which twenty
great looking women ice skaters are getting off.

P.O.V.  HOLIDAY ON ICE GIRLS getting off the bus.

                   TONY
        Ice skaters.  God.  Look't em.
        that's what we need, y'know--one
        night with some skaters and we
        can get back on track...

                   DEKE
        We need a night off just to stop
        our losing streak.  We need a
        rainout.

                   CRASH
        I can get us a rainout.

                   MICKEY
        It's 90 degrees, there ain't been
        a cloud in the sky in weeks.

                   CRASH
        Hundred bucks says I can get us a
        rainout tomorrow.

                   TONY
        You're on.

                                                  CUT TO:

EXT.  KINGSTON BASEBALL STADIUM -- NIGHT

A CAB PULLS UP in the dark.  Late at night.  The cab leaves,
and the four men climb over the fence.

                                                  CUT TO:

EXT.  INSIDE THE KINGSTON BALLPARK -- NIGHT

CRASH PULLS THE LID OFF A BOX -- Several valve handles.

Crash turns several handles with an iron bar, and...

THE SPRINKLER SYSTEM COMES TO LIFE -- And suddenly the field
is covered with the clicking of rain-bird sprinklers, throwing
long slow arcs of water across the entire field.

                                                  CUT TO:

EXT. THE SCOREBOARD OF THE BALLPARK -- MINUTES LATER --
NIGHT

THE FOUR PLAYERS sit on the scoreboard, watching the
sprinklers flood the field.  A six-pack is passed around.

                                                  CUT TO:

EXT.  THE BALLPARK -- EARLY THE NEXT MORNING

A QUAGMIRE ON THE INFIELD -- The Kingston GENERAL MANAGER
stands in the muck with his ground crew.  Wheelbarrows,
shovels, sand is piled around.  It's hopeless.

                   KINSTON G.M.
        God damn it!  Vandals.  Damn kids!

                   GROUND CREW MEMBER
        We can't get it ready by game
        time, boss.

The General Manager studies the field.  Hopeless.

He looks up at the sky.  Cloudless, sunny.

                   KINSTON G.M.
            (to his assistant)
        Call the radio and the paper.
            (with disgust)
        The game's been rained out.

Organ music -- "The Blue Danube Waltz".

                                                  CUT TO:

INT.  THE KINGSTON CIVIC ARENA -- DAY

"HOLIDAY ON ICE" in its matinee performance.  The beautiful,
leggy women skating to the "Blue Danube Waltz".

TEN OF THE DURHAM BULLS sit in the front row.  Nuke, Deke,
Tommy, others, but not Crash.  'Tony waves to a skater.

THE SKATER WAVES BACK as she swirls past the Bulls.

                                                  CUT TO:

INT.  THE KINGSTON HOTEL ROOM -- NIGHT

DEKE ICES THE CHAMPAGNE -- In the b.g. Tommy is blow drying
his hair.  Mickey puts the finishing touches on his outfit.
Several other players get ready to party.

                   DEKE
        Par--ty!  I blew a whole day's
        meal money for this champagne seven
        dollars, man, it better be good.

                   MICKEY
        For seven bucks it better be some
        serious shit.

                   TOMMY
        What time is it, eh?  When are
        they coming?

The guys lounge around nervously, trying to be casual.

                                                  CUT TO:

INT.  KINGSTON HOTEL COFFEE SHOP -- NIGHT

CLOSE ON A STEAK DINNER set down in front of Crash.

Nuke hands Crash a hundred dollar bill.

                   NUKE
        This is from Tony for the rainout.
        C'mon, man, let's go to the party.

                   CRASH
        Naw...

                   NUKE
        "Naw"?  There's ice skaters coming!
        You ever made love to an ice
        skater?

                   CRASH
        By the dozen.  Holiday on Ice,
        Ice Capades, Ice Follies--
            (beat)
        I'm through with one night stands.

                   NUKE
        You're through with one night
        stands?!  What do you want?

                   CRASH
        I just wanta play everyday despite
        small nagging injuries--and go
        home to a woman who appreciates
        how full of crap I truly am.

Nuke just stares at him.

                   NUKE
        You're weird, man--I want a ice
        skater real bad.

                   CRASH
        Go for it.

                   NUKE
        If I get laid, you won't tell
        Annie?

                   CRASH
        I won't have to.

NUKE LOOKS AT HIM STRANGELY -- And hurries to the party.

                                                  CUT TO:

INT.  THE PARTY ROOM -- NIGHT

THE GUYS ARE GROOMING TO EXCESS -- Still blow drying and
preening for each other.

A knock at the door.

THEY QUICKLY GET "CASUAL" and lounge seductively.

                   DEKE
        It's them, it's them!  Be casual.
            (calling out)
        Come in!

THE DOOR OPENS -- It's Nuke.

                   NUKE
        Hey, guys, pa--rty!

                   TOMMY
        Shut up and be cool, man.  Like
        Mickey there...

MICKEY "LOUNGES" WITH A DRINK and a cigaret.

                   MICKEY
        You wanta make it to the Show,
        Rock, you gotta learn how to
        "lounge".

NUKE LEANS ON THE BAR with an elbow, striking his version of
a "lounging" pose.

                   NUKE
        How's this?

                   MICKEY
        You got it.

A knock at the door.

                   TOMMY
        Entre.

EIGHT ICE SKATERS STAND IN THE DOORWAY -- Ready to...

                   ICE SKATER #1
        Pa--rty!

POP THE CORK ON THE SEVEN DOLLAR CHAMPAGNE -- And party...

                                                  CUT TO:

INT.  ANNIE'S HOUSE -- NIGHT

THE WIVES AND SOME GIRLFRIENDS WATCH "DYNASTY" on Annie's
television.  Annie hosts, filling their drink glasses, serving
popcorn, and largely staying in the background.

                   MICKEY'S WIFE
        Do you think your husband plays
        around on the road trips?

                   DEKE'S WIFE
        No way.  Well...God...do we have
        to talk about that?

                   MICKEY'S WIFE
        I guess not...it's just that once
        I asked Mickey if he was faithful
        to me on the road trips and he
        said "in his heart he was
        faithful".
            (beat)
        What the hell does that mean?

                   DEKE'S WIFE
        It means he's unfaithful--but
        only a man would put it in those
        words.

A BABY CRIES -- Tommy's Wife lifts a baby from the couch,
begins rocking It.

                                                  CUT TO:

INT.  THE PLAYERS' HOTEL -- NIGHT

Players are dancing, drinking, hustling the ice skaters, the
music is up, the party swinging, when:

SKIP ENTERS -- He's steaming and slightly drunk.  Larry is
with him.

                   SKIP
        I just got one word to say to
        everybody--shut up!

THE PLAYERS AND ICE SKATERS freeze in mid-party.

                   SKIP (CONT'D)
        Nuke-- get everybody in here.
        Hundred dollar fine anybody's not
        here in five.

NUKE HURRIES OUT THE DOOR

                                                  CUT TO:

INT.  HOTEL HALLWAY -- CONTINUOUS

NUKE POUNDS ON DOORS in a hurry.

--P.O.V. IN FIRST DOOR -- Jimmy is on his knees at the bed,
bare chested, praying with an open Bible.

                   NUKE
        Get your holy ass in Room 401.

He hustles to the next door, and pounds madly.

--P.O.V. IN SECOND DOOR -- TWO NAKED WOMEN with Jose and
Tony, nearly nude.

                   NUKE
        Hundred dollar fine if you're not
        in #401 in five.

                   JOSE
        Hundred dollars?!

JOSE AND TONY LOOK AT THE TWO WOMEN -- It's a lot of money
in Class AAA ball.

                   TONY
        Christ.  Sorry ladies...

JOSE AND TONY HURRY OUT in their shorts.

                   NAKED LADY
        Go to hell!  You're in last place
        anyway!

AND NUKE HURRIES DOWN THE HALL -- Pounding on each door.

                                                  CUT TO:

INT.  COFFEE SHOP -- CONTINUOUS

CRASH EATING ALONE -- Peacefully.  Nuke arrives excitedly.

                   NUKE
        Crash!  Skip wants everybody in
        #401 for a team meeting.  Hundred
        buck fine if ya don't show!

CRASH PULLS OUT THE HUNDRED DOLLAR BILL and hands it to him.

                   CRASH
        Party without me.

                   NUKE
        God--what a Big League move.

NUKE TAKES THE MONEY and hurries back.

                                                  CUT TO:

INT.  THE PARTY ROOM CONTINUOUS

24 PLAYERS AND 8 ICE SKATERS -- Some of the players Nuke
rounded up are partially dressed.  Skip spots the women.

                   SKIP
        Who are you?

                   ICE SKATER #1
        We're ice skaters.  Can we go
        now?

                   SKIP
        No.  I want you to hear my
        philosophy.  It'll do you some
        good
            (beat)
        Here It is.  This is a simple
        game.  You throw the ball, you
        hit the ball, you catch the ball.
        You got that?!

                   ICE SKATER #1
            (frightened)
        Yes.

                   SKIP
        Are you lovely creatures aware
        that you are about to compromise
        yourselves with a buncha bums who
        are--
            (to Larry)
        --what are we?

                   LARRY
        Eight and twenty-four.

                   SKIP
        Eight and twenty-four!  How'd we
        ever win 8 games?

                   LARRY
        It's a miracle.

                   SKIP
        Look, guys--I'm a man, I got needs
        too.  I understand this party--
        but...
            (beat)
        sex is the one thing you can get
        further behind in and catch up
        faster than anything I know.
            (beat)
        There's a baseball lesson in there
        somewhere.
            (looking around)
        Where's Crash?

NUKE STEPS FORWARD -- Hands Skip the hundred dollar bill..

                   NUKE
        He can't make it.  Here's his
        fine.

                   SKIP
        Aw Christ, he don't have to come.
        He's hitting .350.

                   TOMMY
        Don't you think that's a double
        standard--we're here and he ain't?

                   SKIP
        I believe in a double standard
        for guys hitting .350.
            (beat)
        Look, men--you got a choice.  You
        wanta be roasting your nuts off
        for Midas Muffler welding exhaust
        pipes up the assholes of
        Cadillacs...or--
            (beat)
        You wanta be sitting in the Caddy
        while some other guy's crawling
        around in a monkey suit with a
        blow torch?
            (beat)
        There's only two places you can
        be in life--in the Caddy or under
        it.
            (nearly pleading)
        These are the best years of your
        lives.  These are the glamor days.
            (beat)
        It don't got any better than this.
            (threatening, tough)
        But...if this club don't start
        winning soon, there's gonna be
        changes made!

                                                  CUT TO:

INT.  ANNIE'S HOUSE SIMULTANEOUS -- NIGHT

CLOSE ON TELEVISION -- "DYNASTY" drones on.

                   DEKE'S WIFE
            (wistfully)
        Deke was a great player in high
        school.  I thought held go right
        to the Major Leagues--I was gonna
        be a Big League wife.
            (beat)
        Pass the Pampers, please.

                   CRASH
        Helluva guy--

Silence.

Crash flips off the T.V.  with the remote.

                   NUKE
        Can I ask you something?

                   CRASH
        What?

                   NUKE
        What would you think of a pitcher
        who wore women's panties?

                   CRASH
        If he had a good breaking ball,
        I'd respect the shit outta him.

Crash turns off the light.

CLOSE ON NUKE -- A bit of light spill on his face.  Eyes
open.  A long ways from sleep.

                                                  CUT TO:

EXT.  A CAROLINA LEAGUE BALLPARK -- NIGHT

CLOSE ON NUKE'S FACE -- He takes his cap off, wipes his brow.

He's pitching.  Everything in SLO-MO.

FANS IN THE BALLPARK LAUGH at Nuke, mocking his.

EXTREME CLOSE UP ON NUKE'S EYES -- Frightened.

SLOW FULLBACK ON NUKE -- HE'S STARK NAKED save for his cap
and glove.  Everyone else is clothed.

NUKE WINDS AND PITCHES in the nude.  SLO-MO...and as the
batter cranks up to take a vicious swing--

                                                  CUT TO:

INT.  TEAM BUS -- DAWN

CLOSE ON NUKE'S FACE -- He awakes with a start.

                   NUKE
        No!

CRASH LEANS OVER and shakes him.

                   CRASH
        Wake up, it's okay...you're
        dreaming...

CRASH HELPS NUKE back to consciousness.  Nuke shakes his
head, trying to wake up.  Crash Is almost tender.

                   NUKE
        I was playing naked.

                   CRASH
        I know, I know--I have that dream
        all the time.  We're almost home.

The Bus continues across the Carolina landscape.

                                                  CUT TO:

EXT.  THE STADIUM PARKING LOT -- DAWN

The team bus pulls into a deserted parking lot.  A few of
the players' cars are parked.  Some of the wives and
girlfriends.  And Annie.

THE PLAYERS SHUFFLE OFF the bus.  Tired and beat.

CLOSE ON NUKE -- He looks worse than the rest.  He sees Annie
and waves.  She's waiting next to her old Volvo.

                                                  CUT TO:

EXT.  STREETS OF DURHAM MOMENTS LATER

ANNIE'S VOLVO PULLS OUT -- She drives.

INT.  THE VOLVO -- DAY

Annie is up--Nuke is down.

                   NUKE
        God I'm tired.  What a trip I was
        lousy.  I was worse than lousy.
        Everytime I pitched--it was like
        throwing gasoline on a fire.
        Kaboom.  I--

                   ANNIE
        What is this "I, I, I" stuff?
        You only talk about yourself?
        Aren't you glad to see me?  Don't
        I look nice?

                   NUKE
        Sorry.  You look great.  I'm
        totally exhausted.

                   ANNIE
        Good.  Total exhaustion can be
        spiritually fabulous.
            (beat)
        Let's play catch.

                   NUKE
        Catch?

                                                  CUT TO:

EXT.  ANNIE'S BACKYARD -- MORNING

Flowers and birdfeeders everywhere.  And, 60 feet away in
complete, oversized catcher's gear--

JACKSON IN A CATCHER'S CROUCH -- Nuke stares, in his street
clothes, but now with a glove and ball.

                   JACKSON
        Hum, babe, hum, babe, fire it in
        here, hum babe--

                   ANNIE
        That's not necessary, Jackson---
            (beat)
        Okay, Nuke, now lean in for the
        sign.

He does.  Jackson flashes some ridiculous signs.

                   NUKE
        This in ridiculous.  I'm a pro.

                   ANNIE
        Just do what I say.  Now, which
        nostril are you breathing through?

                   NUKE
        Which nostril am I breathing
        through?

Annie puts her hand under his nose.

                   ANNIE
        The right nostril.  Good.

                   NUKE
        My right nostril?

                   ANNIE
        There are two important psychic
        conduits called the "pingala" and
        the "ida".  The pingala starts
        with the left testicle (or left
        ovary of the female) and ends at
        the right nostril.

She touches his left nut through his pants in a matter of
fact manner.  He stares back.

                   ANNIE
        The ida originates at the right
        testicle(or ovary) and terminates
        at the left nostril.

                   NUKE
        I'm really beat.  I need some
        serious "z's"--

                   ANNIE
        The pingala is the nostril used
        for throwing a baseball.
            (beat)
        And if you discover before a game
        you're in the wrong nostril, it's
        easy to switch.

                   NUKE
        Switch nostrils?

                   ANNIE
        Right.  Okay, fire a couple in
        there.

NUKE TOSSES AN EASY PITCH to Jackson.  Annie's incensed.

                   ANNIE
        You're patronizing me!  I will
        not be patronized--

                   NUKE
        If I throw too hard I'll hurt the
        kid.

                   ANNIE
        He's handled a lotta pitchers
        whose records were better than
        one and six.

Nuke gets a little steamed.  He feels his nostril, winds,
and fires a medium speed fastball to Jackson.

                   NUKE
            (a bit angry)
        How was that?

                   ANNIE
        A little better.

                   NUKE
        Gimme the God damn ball!

NUKE WINDS UP and fires a pitch to Jackson.  Alas--

THE BALL SAILS THROUGH A WINDOW -- Crashing glass.

                   NUKE
            (cynically)
        How ya like that?

                   ANNIE
        Much better.  Your delivery was
        fully integrated because you
        weren't thinking about it 'cause
        you were pissed off at me.
            (beat)
        This is progress.

Nuke smiles and gives in.  And reaches for her.

                   NUKE
        I give up.  Let's go inside, make
        love, and fall asleep till it's
        time to go to the ballpark.

She takes his hand and leads him up to the back porch.

                   ANNIE
        Or...
            (taking his hand)
        ...We could just take that sexual
        energy and save it for a few hours
        and re-channel it into your
        pitching tonight.
            (shouting)
        C'mon, Jackson, I've got some
        lemonade!

Jackson runs over in full gear to join them.

SITTING ON THE BACK PORCH -- A pitcher of lemonade.

                   NUKE
        I can't keep up with you.  First
        you say sex is gonna make me a
        better pitcher--now no sex is
        gonna do it?!

                   ANNIE
        It's all the same thing.

SUDDENLY NUKE'S FACE IS FILLED WITH ALARM -- He points.

                   NUKE
        What's that?!

--P.O.V. A CARDBOARD BOX ON A TABLE NEARBY -- Scrawled in
larged letters on the side are the words "MAX PATKIN".

                   ANNIE
            (matter of factly)
        That's Max.  His ashes anyway.
        He left no kin...

Nuke stares, unsettled.

                   NUKE
        God...I think I'm gonna be sick--

                   ANNIE
        Oh don't be silly.  Death is
        nothing to be scared of.  It's
        just another way of living.  It's
        just a fresh start--kinda like
        spring training.

Nuke thinks about this carefully.  Looks at the ashes, at
Annie, and at Jackson, in full gear, mask on his head.

                   NUKE
        Death is like spring training?

                   ANNIE
        Yes.  And so is birth.  Now look
        me in the eyes, Nuke--
            (sweetly accusing him)
        You haven't been wearing my
        panties, have you?

CLOSE ON NUKE -- Utterly bewildered.

                                                  CUT TO:

INT.  BULLS LOCKER ROOM -- NIGHT

NUKE PULLS HIS JOCKSTRAP ON over the red panties.

Crash notices the panties, and snaps the waistband.

                   CRASH
        Hot.  Very hot...

Nuke looks around nervously, continues dressing quickly.

                   NUKE
        Annie says her panties will keep
        one side of my brain occupied
        while I'm on the mound, thus
        keeping my brain slightly off
        center, which is where it should
        be for artists and pitchers.  She
        also said I should throw whatever
        pitches you call for.

                   CRASH
        Annie's a smart lady.

Suddenly Deke spots Nuke's panties.

                   DEKE
        Hey, fruit alert!  Check out the
        Rook.

SEVERAL PLAYERS GATHER AROUND -- Wolf whistles aimed at Nuke
as the players are dressing into their uniforms.

                   NUKE
        Annie says there's no such thing
        as straight and gay.  We're all
        sexual creatures to start with,
        and we get formed into certain
        roles.

                   TOMMY
        You believe that?

                   NUKE
        When I'm one and six I'll believe
        anything.
            (as they dress)
        Annie also says that God is a
        woman.  You believe that, Crash,
        you think God's a lady?

                   CRASH
        God's definitely a woman--but
        she's no lady.

                   TOMMY
        This is all Commie bullshit.
            (beat)
        God has a dick, man.

                   TONY
        God damn it, Jimmy, you're an
        expert--does God have a dick or a
        pussy?

JIMMY TURNS FROM HIS CUBICLE to answer the theological
question.  All heads wait for the answer.

                   JIMMY
        The Lord God is tri-une--Father,
        Son, and Holy Ghost.

                   TOMMY
        Father and Son.  Awright!

The guys slap fives, convinced God is a man.

                   MICKEY,
            (baiting them)
        Yeah, but He is a brother.

                   TOMMY
        Bullshit!  God ain't no brother!

Deke turns to Crash, full of despair.

                   DEKE
        If there is a God, why am I hitting
        .200?

SUDDENLY SKIP AND LARRY APPEAR to restore order.

                   SKIP
        Shut up!  This is a damn noisy
        clubhouse for a team that's lost
        15 straight.

Silence.

Skip takes off his cap--instantly sincere.

                   SKIP
        Patkin was a tribute to baseball...

                   LARRY
        ...and one helluva guy.

                                                  CUT TO:

EXT.  DURHAM BALLPARK -- DUSK

A BLACK GOSPEL GROUP at a mike at home plate, singing:

                   GOSPEL SINGER (SINGING)
        I come to the garden alone, When
        the dew is still on the roses,
        And the voice I hear, whispering
        in my ear,.  The Son of God
        discloses--

ANNIE SPRINKLES MAX'S ASHES on the pitcher's mound, as:

JACKSON SITS IN THE DUGOUT FILLING ROSIN BAGS with the extra
ashes from a box.

EXTREME CLOSE UP -- A ROSIN BAG MARKED "MAX"

                                             DISSOLVE TO:

EXTREME CLOSE UP -- "MAX" ROSIN BAG on the mound.

EXT.  DURHAM BALLPARK -- GAME IN PROGRESS -- NIGHT

NUKE ON THE MOUND -- PICKS UP the rosin bag, and paces.  A
small crowd.  A batter steps in to hit.  Nuke looks.  in for
the sign.

                   NUKE (VOICE OVER)
        God, these panties feel great.
        That don't make me queer, right?
        Right.  Whoo.
            (reads the sign)
        Breaking ball.

NUKE WINDS AND DELIVERS -- Breaking ball for a strike.

                   NUKE
        I ain't queer.  I know I ain't...
            (reads the sign)
        Fastball.

NUKE WINDS AND DELIVERS -- Fastball for a strike.

                                                  CUT TO:

ANNIE'S BOX SEAT IN THE STANDS -- She charts pitches.

                   JACKSON
        Ninety-three miles an hour.

                   ANNIE
        He looks wonderful, Jackson...

                                                  CUT TO:

NUKE ON THE MOUND -- He looks in for the sign.

                   NUKE
        Fastball again?  Why's he want
        the heat--I just threw heat.
        Don't think, Meat--give 'em the
        gas.

NUKE WINDS AND DELIVERS -- An eye-popping fastball.  The
batter swings and misses.  Strike three.

                                                  CUT TO:

IN THE DUGOUT -- SKIP AND LARRY LOOK AT EACH other warily.

                   SKIP
        Jesus--what's got into Nuke?

                   LARRY
        I heard he's wearing women's
        underwear--and he's breathing
        through his pingala nostril.

                   SKIP
            (spitting tobacco)
        I'm getting too old for this game.

P.O.V.  NUKES FASTBALL SHATTERS A BAT -- THE HITTER

hits a weak roller to third for the second out.

                                                  CUT TO:

BACK TO THE MOUND -- Nuke is pumped up.  Paces.

                   NUKE (VOICE OVER)
        God, Annie's got a great ass....
        How come her panties fit me?
        That's one of the mysteries of
        sex I guess...

NUKE WINDS AND DELIVERS A VICIOUS CURVEBALL -- A check swing
dribbler to first for the third out.  And the players run
into the dugout.

                                                  CUT TO:

INT.  THE DUGOUT

NUKE PUTS ON HIS WARM UP JACKET and sits down next to Crash,
who's taking off his gear, readying to hit.

                   NUKE
        I was great, eh?

                   CRASH
        Your fastball was up and your
        curveball was hanging--in the
        Show they woulda ripped you.

                   NUKE
        Can't you let me enjoy the moment?

                   CRASH
        The moment's over.
            (rising to get a bat)
        If this guy starts me off with a
        breaking ball, I'm going downtown--

CRASH SMILES in his disarming way, and grabs a bat.

                                                  CUT TO:

EXT.  THE ON DECK CIRCLE

Crash kneels, rubbing the bat handle with pine tar.  He
studies the pitcher working the first two hitters.

CRASH RISES and heads to the plate.

CRASH STEPS INTO THE BOX -- Digs in.

                   CRASH (VOICE OVER)
        I dare you to throw me the hammer--
        you ain't that stupid...

CRASH'S P.O.V. IN SLOW-MOTION -- The pitcher winds and
delivers.  And as the ball leaves the pitcher's hand--

                   CRASH (VOICE OVER)
        Breaking ball--you fool!

CRASH UNLOADS ON THE PITCH -- Crushing a home run deep over
the left field wall.

                                             DISSOLVE TO:

INT.  THE PRESS BOX

TEDDY THE RADIO ANNOUNCER is wary about these events.

                   TEDDY THE RADIO MAN
        Two-nothing Bulls in the second--
        first time the Bulls have been
        ahead in weeks, eh Whitey--
            (beat)
         Let's see if the real Nuke LaLoosh
        will show up--

                                                  CUT TO:

NUKE FIRES THREE QUICK PITCHES for another strike out.  Curve
ball, fast ball, curve ball.  Overpowering.

                                                  CUT TO:

ANNIE AND JACKSON in her box seat.

                   ANNIE
        Oh my...

                                                  CUT TO:

SKIP AND LARRY IN THE DUGOUT -- Skip looks at Larry as if to
say "What's happening?"  Larry just shrugs.

                                                  CUT TO:

BACK TO THE FIELD -- Nuke's next pitch.

THE NEXT BATTER POPS UP -- Crash circles into foul ground to
make the catch, whipping the ball around the infield.

AND CRASH GOES TO THE MOUND for a visit.

                   NUKE
        Hey, I'm cruisin', man--what're
        you doing out here?!

                   CRASH
        I want you to throw this one at
        the bat rack.

                   NUKE
        Why?!  I'm finally throwin' the
        damn thing where I want to.

                   CRASH
        It'll keep the fear of God in the
        hitters.  Trust me.

                   NUKE
        You're the boss.

CRASH RETURNS TO THE PLATE -- Flashes a sign.

                                                  CUT TO:

THE PRESS BOX Teddy's getting worked up.

                   TEDDY THE RADIO MAN
        --a staggering start by LaLoosh--
        he's thrown 5 cuts on 9 pitches,
        all of them strikes--he's got pin
        point control here tonight, Bull
        fans...here's the pitch--

                                                  CUT TO:

NUKE'S NEXT DELIVERY -- A wild ass rocket thirty feet off
line.  The BULL MASCOT DIVES for cover.

THE BATTER STEPS OUT OF THE BOX nervously, muttering.

                   BATTER
        This guy's crazy.

                   CRASH
        Yep.  Next one might be at your
        head.  Hell if I know where the
        damn thing's going...

CLOSE ON NUKE -- Smiles.  Winds.  Delivers.  A change up.

THE BATTER SWINGS TERRIBLY OFF STRIDE -- Strike three.  Crash
whips the ball around the infield.

                                                  CUT TO:

SCOREBOARD: DURHAM 11, KINGSTON 0--TOP OF THE NINTH

                   TEDDY THE RADIO MAN
        --top of the ninth, two outs, one
        out away from a stunning two hit
        shutout for LaLoosh...

                                                  CUT TO:

NUKE ON THE MOUND -- Bearing down.

                   NUKE (VOICE OVER)
        Bear down, Meat, don't let up.
        You own these guys.  Dad'll love
        a shutout ...

P.O.V.  CRASH FLASHES THE SIGN -- Nuke doesn't like it.

                   NUKE
        No, no--this guy's looking for
        heat--lemme give him the deuce--

NUKE SHAKES OFF THE SIGN Cocky, full of himself.

                                                  CUT TO:

ANNIE AND JACKSON in her box seat.

                   ANNIE
        Oh no--he's shaking off the sign,
        Jackson.  Big mistake...

                   JACKSON
        He'll learn.

                                                  CUT TO:

CLOSE ON CRASH BEHIND THE PLATE

                   CRASH
        This son of a bitch is throwing a
        two hit shutout and he's shaking
        me off?!
            (to batter and umpire)
        Hey Charlie, here comes the deuce.

NUKE WINDS AND DELIVERS -- A hanging curveball.  The batter
takes an ungodly cut, and BLASTS a long home.

THE BATTER STANDS AT THE PLATE watching the blast...until
CRASH SHOVES HIM toward first with a sneer.  For a moment it
looks like there'll be a fight--but the hitter backs off and
takes the home run trot as:

NUKE STARES AT THE OUTFIELD WALL as the batter circles the
bases.  Crash walks to the mound.

                   NUKE
        You told him I was throwing a
        deuce, right?

                   CRASH
        Yep.  He really crushed that
        dinger, didn't he.  Musta gone
        450 feet...damn...

NUKE HOLDS OUT HIS GLOVE -- Says nothing.  Crash puts a new
ball in the glove.  Returns to the plate.

NUKE GETS THE SIGN -- Winds.  Delivers.  Batter hits a weak
one hopper back to the mound.  Game's over.

                                                  CUT TO:

INT.  MAXWELL'S BAR -- LATER -- NIGHT

A raucous celebration of the victory.  Booze flows.

And we begin hearing the familiar sounds of Piaf ...

                                                  CUT TO:

INT.  ANNIE'S HOUSE -- LATER -- NIGHT

ANNIE COMES OUT OF THE BATHROOM -- Dressed in a long, flowing
nightgown, elegant and old fashioned.  She looks fabulous,
PRESENTING HERSELF to Nuke.

                   ANNIE
        I'm yours.

                   NUKE
        Y'know, Annie, I been thinking if
        it works for one game, maybe it'll
        work for a whole buncha games.

                   ANNIE
        Breathing through your pingala
        always works, honey--

                   NUKE
        Not that.  I mean the re-channeling
        of my sexual energy.
            (beat)
        Maybe we shouldn't make love for
        awhile.

                   ANNIE
        Now don't go overboard, I look
        incredibly hot, right?

She strikes a pose.  She does look hot.

                   NUKE
        You know what it feels like to
        throw a three hitter?
            (nervously, with
            resolve)
        We better not fuck.

                   ANNIE
        Nuke?!

                   NUKE
        Just till I lose.

                   ANNIE
        Get over here.

                   NUKE
        No.

                   ANNIE
        Ebby Calvin "Nuke" LaLoosh--

She starts toward him--and Nuke flees.  Out the door, into
the night.  Annie slumps in disbelief.

                                             DISSOLVE TO:

INT.  ANNIE'S BEDROOM -- NIGHT

ANNIE SITS IN BED ALONE -- Lights a cigaret.  A puzzled
expression--things have got out of control.

                   ANNIE (VOICE OVER CONT'D)
        Nuke was so encouraged that he
        took a vow to not have sex until
        they lost...

Annie reaches over, opens a drawer in her nightstand, and
pulls out her baseball glove.  She cradles it fondly in her
lap, puts it on, pounds it gently...

                   ANNIE (VOICE OVER CONT'D)
        Y'see a ballplayer on a streak
        considers himself touched with
        magic and he'll do anything to
        keep from breaking the spell ...

                                                  CUT TO:

INT.  DURHAM BULL LOCKER ROOM -- DAY

NUKE NEATLY UNFOLDS THE RED PANTIES in his locker.

                   ANNIE (VOICE OVER CONT'D)
        In fact the whole team started
        making religious connections and
        everybody got hot.

JOSE BLESSES THE BATS with a chicken bone cross.

JIMMY READS THE BIBLE and prays alone in the corner.

                                                  CUT TO:

EXT.  DURHAM BASEBALL FIELD -- DAY

PLAYERS TAKING GROUND BALLS and batting practice.

                   ANNIE (VOICE OVER CONT'D)
        I figured Nuke would win a couple,
        then lose, and things would get
        back to normal ...

PLAYERS PLAYING "FLIP" PEPPER like kids.

                   ANNIE (VOICE OVER CONT'D)
        But it didn't happen like that...
        and for one extraordinary June
        and July, the Durham Bulls, for
        whatever perverse reason, began
        playing baseball with joy and
        verve and poetry--

NUKE WARMING UP in the bullpen, listening to Crash.

                   ANNIE (VOICE OVER CONT'D)
        The two sides of my own brain
        were all jumbled up and cross-
        wired...  while one side was being
        neglected, the other was in
        paradise watching our Bulls play
        like Big Leaguers...

MICKEY RIPS A TRIPLE UP THE ALLEY -- Slides into third.

DEKE AND TOMMY TURN A SPECTACULAR DOUBLE PLAY

                   ANNIE (VOICE OVER)
        We swept a four game series with
        Kingston, back to back
        doubleheaders with Winston-Salem,
        and kicked the holy shit out of
        Greensboro in a three game
        series...

SEVERAL PLAYERS SIGNING AUTOGRAPHS at a local mall.  A line
of kids to meet them.  A banner--MEET YOUR BULLS!

                   ANNIE (VOICE OVER)
        They were in demand all over town--
        and Crash, who kept hitting
        dingers, was approaching the minor
        league record...  though I told
        nobody.

CRASH BLASTS ANOTHER HOME RUN -- Another win.

JULY 4 PROMOTION -- LARRY, DEKE, TOMMY, AND JOSE dressed as
the "Spirit of 176 Drum and Fife Corps" at home plate,
surrounded by a Boy Scout Troop.

                   ANNIE (VOICE OVER)
        After sweeping a July 4
        doubleheader, the Durham Bulls
        were tied for first.

THE WIVES, THE GROUPIES, AND MILLIE WAIT for the players
outside the clubhouse following a game.

ANNIE SITS ALONE IN HER BOX SEAT as the stadium empties.

                   ANNIE (VOICE OVER)
        But beautiful as the winning streak
        was, I was getting damn lonely.
            (beat)
        Something had to be done.  I needed
        a man...

                                                  CUT TO:

EXT.  THE TEAM BUS ON THE ROAD BACK --DAY

The sounds of Diana Ross and the Supremes.

INT.  THE BUS -- DAY

LARRY, DEKE, TOMMY AND MICKEY as the Supremes, singing "Stop
in the Name of Love" at the front of the bus.

                   NUKE
        I love winning, Crash, you hear
        me?  I love It.  Teach me
        everything.

                   CRASH
        It's time you started working on
        your interviews.

                   NUKE
        What do I gotta do?

                   CRASH
        Learn your cliches.  Study them.
        Know them.  They're your friends.

Crash hands Nuke a small pad and pen.

                   CRASH
        Write this down.
            (beat)
        "We gotta play 'em one day at a
        time."

                   NUKE
        Boring.

                   CRASH
        Of course.  That's the point.
            (beat)
        "I'm just happy to be here and
        hope I can help the ballclub."

                   NUKE
        Jesus.

                   CRASH
        Write, write--"I just wanta give
        It my best shot and, Good Lord
        willing, things'll work out."

NUKE STARTS WRITING them down.

                   NUKE
        "...Good Lord willing, things'll
        work out."

                   CRASH
        Yep.  So how's Annie?

Nuke looks up from his cliches, startled.

                   NUKE
        She's getting steamed 'cause I'm
        still re-channeling my sexual
        energy--maybe I should cave in
        and sleep with her once just to
        calm her down.  What'ya think?

                   CRASH
        You outta your mind?  If you give
        in now you might start losing.
            (beat)
        Never fuck with a winning streak.

Nuke nods seriously, listening to the master.

                                                  CUT TO:

EXT.  THE STADIUM PARKING LOT -- DAY

THE BUS PULLS IN -- Wives and girlfriends are waiting.

The players get off, greet their women.

ANNIE GREETS NUKE -- They head for her Volvo..

JIMMY STARTS ACROSS THE LOT on foot, dragging his luggage,
when Millie pulls up in her car.

                   MILLIE
        Hi, Jimmy.  Want a ride?

                   JIMMY
            (nervously)
        Have you accepted Jesus Christ as
        your personal savior?

                   MILLIE
        No.

                   JIMMY
        Can I give you my testimony?

                   MILLIE
        You can do anything you want.
            (a tiny grin)
        Hop in.

JIMMY NERVOUSLY GETS IN WITH MILLIE They roar away.

                                                  CUT TO:

INT.  ANNIE'S KITCHEN -- DAY

NUKE SITS AT THE TABLE -- He's just finished eating.

Annie circles him.  A pot of soup on the stove.

                   ANNIE
        I'm so proud of you and all the
        guys.  Want some more soup?

                   NUKE
        No, no, it was great.

                   ANNIE
        How 'bout a back rub?

                   NUKE
        No, that's okay.  All I need's a
        little nap.

                   ANNIE
        I'll tuck you in.

                   NUKE
            (nervously)
        You can't seduce me.

                   ANNIE
        I'm not gonna try to seduce you,
        sweetie...

ANNIE STRETCHES OUT HER LEG and lays it an the table.

                   NUKE
        What's that?

She pulls back her skirt slightly, exposing her garter snaps
attached to her stockings.

                   ANNIE
        That's my leg.

                   NUKE
        I know what it is.

                   ANNIE
        I figure we could work on some
        fundamentals even if we don't
        make love.

She strokes her leg.  Nuke stares fearfully.

                   NUKE
        Fundamentals?

                   ANNIE
        Sure.
            (beat)
        Unsnap my stockings.

Nuke squirms, then reaches for her garter snaps.  And stops.

                   NUKE
        Crash once called a woman's, uh--
        pussy--y'know how the hair kinda
        makes a "V" shape?--

                   ANNIE
        Yes I do...

                   NUKE
        Well--he calls it the Bermuda
        Triangle.  He said a man can get
        lost in there and never be heard
        from again.

                   ANNIE
        What a nasty thing to say.

                   NUKE
        He didn't mean it nasty.  He said
        that gettin' lost and disappearing
        from the face of the earth was
        sometimes a good thing to do--
        especially like that.

                   ANNIE
        Oh...
            (beat)
        Crash is a very smart man.  Now
        c'mon, honey, give it a try.

NUKE REACHES FOR THE GARTER SNAPS with two hands.  He fumbles,
groping awkwardly.  Annie stops him gently.

                   ANNIE
        Watch...one hand--

WITH A SINGLE HAND ANNIE FLICKS each snap.  Flick, flick,
flick.  Magic.  The snaps open effortlessly.

                   NUKE
        oh.

ANNIE RE-SNAPS THEM QUICKLY, offering her leg to Nuke.

                   ANNIE
        Now you try.

NUKE TRIES AGAIN -- One handed.  Awkwardly again, but--

                   ANNIE
            (sighing sexually)
        Mmmmmmm...oh yes...

BUT NUKE LEAPS TO HIS FEET -- Reacting vigorously, nervously,
desperately.  The soup crashes on the floor.

                   NUKE
        No!  You're playing with my mind!

                   ANNIE
        I'm trying to play with your body!

                   NUKE
        I knew it--you're seducing me!

                   ANNIE
        Of course I'm seducing you for
        Godsakes, and I'm doing a damn
        poor job of it--
            (beat)
        Aren't I pretty?

                   NUKE
        I think you're real cute.

                   ANNIE
        Cute?!  I hate cute!  Baby ducks
        are cute!  I wanta be exotic and
        mysterious!

                   NUKE
        You're exotic and mysterious and
        cute--that's why I better leave.

Nuke starts to leave.

                   ANNIE
        Nuke!  You got things all wrong!
        There's no relation between sex
        and baseball.  Ask Crash.

                   NUKE
        I did.

                   ANNIE
        What'd he say?

                   NUKE
        He said if I gave in to you I'd
        start losing again.

                   ANNIE
        He did?

                   NUKE
        I'll be back when we lose.

NUKE HURRIES OUT THE DOOR -- Annie just stares.

                                                  CUT TO:

EXT.  THE DOWNTOWNER MOTEL -- DURHAM -- DAY

A run of the mill cheap modern motel.

INT.  CRASH'S ROOM AT THE MOTEL -- DAY

CRASH WORKS ON HIS SWING in front of a mirror.

A knock at the door.

                   CRASH
        Come in.

ANNIE ENTERS the room.  Crash stays with his stance.

                   ANNIE
        Crash...I want you.

                   CRASH
        Nuke won't go to bed with you,
        eh?

                   ANNIE
        He' s confused--

                   CRASH
        Aren't we all?

                   ANNIE
        Don't you think I'm pretty?

Crash puts down the bat, and looks directly at her.  As he
does he picks up two spring loaded hand exercisers and begins
pumping them an he talks.

                   CRASH
        You're gorgeous, God damn it!
        From the moment I first saw you I
        knew I had to have you.  I had to
        have you!

                   ANNIE
        I want to be had.

                   CRASH
        I think of you and the "boy" all
        the time.

                   ANNIE
        He won't make love to me anymore.

                   CRASH
        And he's right!  A ballplayer on
        a streak has to respect the streak.
        They don't happen very often.
            (beat)
        You know how hard this game is?
        If you believe you're playing
        well because you're getting laid
        or because you're not getting
        laid or because you wore red silk
        panties--then you are!
            (beat)
        And I still think Thomas Pynchon
        is full of shit.

                   ANNIE
        I want you desperately!

Crash can hardly keep up.  So he slows her down--

                   CRASH
        Who are you?  Do you have a job?

                   ANNIE
        I teach part time at the Junior
        College.  What if I told you I
        was through with Nuke?  He learned
        his lessons quickly and left me.

                   CRASH
        And now you wanta teach me?

                   ANNIE
        I don't imagine there's much I
        could teach you.

                   CRASH
        I doubt that.

                   ANNIE
        Crash, I get wet just thinking
        about you.

                   CRASH
        I thought you wanted an
        "uncomplicated" boy?

                   ANNIE
        I'm ready for a complicated man.

                   CRASH
        --and as soon as we lose a game,
        he'll be back in your arms.

                   ANNIE
        I said when I think about you, I
        get wet.

                   CRASH
        Annie, I think you should leave.

Annie launches into a tirade without orchestration or self-
awareness.  She's frustrated, confused, angry and...

                   ANNIE
        God damn you--what is happening?
        Is there no man who'll have me?
            (beat)
        This is the weirdest season I
        ever saw--the Durham Bulls can't
        lose and I can't get laid!

                   CRASH
            (softly)
        You okay?

Annie slides against the wall down to the floor.  Tears flow.
Her makeup runs.  Her eyes are red.

                   ANNIE
            (shakily)
        I need a drink.

Crash gingerly helps her to her feet.

                                                  CUT TO:

INT.  MAXWELL'S BAR -- DAY

ANNIE AND CRASH SIT IN THE CORNER of the empty bar.

                   CRASH
        Why baseball?

                   ANNIE
            (sighs)
        I was raised in a Baptist church
        got dipped in the water when I
        was 5-- born again before
        kindergarten...by the time I was
        10 I knew it was bullshit and at
        15 I ran away from home...

SHE SMILES at the most painful memories.

                   ANNIE
        pregnant, had an abortion, got
        pregnant again, had an abortion
        again...gave up men.  Tried women.
        Missed men.  My mother died.
            (beat)
        I bought a car for $200 and drove
        to Ft. Lauderdale to bury her.
            (beat)
        And after we'd sung some hymns in
        some wretched Florida funeral
        home, I went outside and something
        happened--

Her tone becomes wistful, nostalgic.

                   ANNIE
        The smell of cut grass in the
        warm March air overwhelmed me and
        I heard a noise--
            (makes the sound))
        --tok, tok, tok--and some men
        shouting...then tok, tok, tok.

Crash smiles slightly.  He knows.

                   ANNIE
        I crossed the street--it was the
        New York Yankees spring training
        field--tok, tok, tok, was the
        sound of a ball hitting a bat--
        and I sat in the warm bleachers
        to think about my mother...
            (beat)
        And I saw him.

                   CRASH
        Who?

                   ANNIE
        Thurman Munson.
            (beat)
        He was covered with dirt and he
        was fighting with everybody--it
        was beautiful ...
            (beat)
        And he called the ump a cocksucker
        and got thrown out of the game
        even though it was an exhibition!
            (beat)
        So I stayed in the bleachers all
        spring and gradually came to
        understand what's so great about
        baseball.

                   CRASH
        What's so great about baseball?

                   ANNIE
        If you know where home plate is,
        then you know where 1st base is,
        and 2nd, and everything else--
        'cause they're always in the same
        place in relation to home.
            (beat)
        Don't you see?  If you know where
        home plate is, then you know where
        everything else in the universe
        is!

Silence.

                   CRASH
        I don't know if I'd go that far.

                   ANNIE
        It's true, It's true!
            (beat, down)
        Least it used to be true.  It
        ain't possible that baseball's
        not enough anymore, is it, Crash?

                   CRASH
        It's possible.

                   ANNIE
        No.

                   CRASH
        Are you gonna be waking up next
        to 20 year old ballplayers when
        you're 60?

                   ANNIE
        Well...I used to think that wasn't
        the worst thing in the world to
        look forward to.  Lately I'm not
        so sure.

                   CRASH
        Why not?

                   ANNIE
            (angrily)
        Whatta you mean "why not"?  Are
        you gonna play forever?!

Before Crash can answer--

SUDDENLY A VOICE interrupts.  They both turn to see:

MILLIE EXCITEDLY DRAGGING JIMMY into the nearly empty bar.

She leads him by the hand.

                   MILLIE
        Annie, Annie!  There she is--we've
        been looking all over for ya.  Hi
        Crash.

MILLIE LEADS JIMMY right up to their table.  And as they
hold hands.  Jimmy stands there shyly.

                   MILLIE
        Well tell 'em, honey.

                   JIMMY
            (nervously)
        We're getting married.

MILLIE STICKS OUT HER LEFT HAND Displays a huge ring.

                   ANNIE
        Omigawd, honey, I'm so happy for
        you.

                   MILLIE
        He's a virgin.

Jimmy squirms defensively.

                   JIMMY
        Wellyeah...
            (to Annie and Crash)
        I guess that probably seems pretty
        corny to people like you.

                   ANNIE
        Oh Jimmy, honey, I think it sounds
        wonderful!

                   MILLIE
        Annie, will you be the bride's
        maid?

                                                  CUT TO:

EXT.  DURHAM STADIUM -- LATER -- NIGHT

GAME IN PROGRESS -- Nuke on the mound.

NUKE WINDS AND DELIVERS -- Very high.  Ball three.

                                                  CUT TO:

INSIDE THE DUGOUT -- Skip and Larry spitting tobacco.

                   SKIP
        Nuke's overthrowing tonight, he
        don't look loose.  Anything
        bothering him?

                   LARRY
        He said his chakras were jammed
        and he was breathing out of the
        wrong nostril.

                   SKIP
            (spitting tobacco)
        Okay...

                                                  CUT TO:

BACK TO THE MOUND

NUKE WINDS AND DELIVERS AGAIN -- Very high.  Ball four.

CRASH IS QUICKLY to the mound.

                   CRASH
        What's wrong?

                   NUKE
        I'm nervous--my old man's here.

NUKE MOTIONS -- They both look.

--P.O.V.  NUKE'S FATHER SITTING in a special box seat.  The
man is 45, and is operating a home video camera taking
pictures of his son.

                   CRASH
        Hey, he's just your father, man--
        he's as full of shit as anybody.

TOMMY AND DEKE JOIN THEM at the mound.

                   DEKE
        What the hell's going on?

                   TOMMY
        You breathing through the wrong
        fucking nostril again?

                   DEKE
        Hey, you guys hear Jimmy and Millie
        are engaged?!  Wait'll I tell him
        she's gone down on half the
        Carolina League--

                   CRASH
            (threatening)
        Anybody says anything bad about
        Millie, I'll break his neck.

                   NUKE
        Hey, guys, I got a game to pitch.

JOSE THE FIRST BASEMAN JOINS THEM ALL at the mound.

                   JOSE
        Don't throw anything to me--my
        girlfriend put a curse on my glove.

                   NUKE
        I'll take the curse off the son
        of a bitch!

                   JOSE
        Then you got to cut the head off
        a live rooster.

                   NUKE
        Shit.

MICKEY JOINS THE CROWD from third base.

                   MICKEY
        Don't worry, man, this umpire's a
        God damn racist.

P.O.V.  THE UMPIRE -- He's black.

                                                  CUT TO:

THE DUGOUT -- SKIP AND LARRY watch the growing meeting.

                   SKIP
        What the hell's going on out there?

                   LARRY
        It's a damn convention.

                   SKIP
        Check it out.

                                                  CUT TO:

THE MOUND -- Larry joins the convention.

                   LARRY
        What the hell's going on out here?

                   CRASH
        Nuke's scared cause his nostrils
        are jammed and his old man's here,
        we need a live rooster to take
        the curse off Jose's glove, and
        nobody knows what to get Jimmy
        and Millie for their wedding
        present--there's a whole lotta
        shit we're trying to deal with--

                   LARRY
        Oh.  I thought there was a problem.

                                                  CUT TO:

INT.  ANNIE'S HOUSE NIGHT

ANNIE IS HELPING MILLIE make her WEDDING DRESS.

The game can be heard on the radio in the b.g.

                   MILLIE
        You should be at the game.

                   ANNIE
        No, no--I'm fine.  Millie, how
        much time did you and Jimmy spend
        together before he proposed?

Annie holds the dress up to Millie.

                   MILLIE
        Five hours.  We both just know.
            (studying the dress)
        Do you think I deserve to wear
        white?

                   ANNIE
        We all deserve to wear white.

BOTH WOMEN TURN THEIR HEADS to the radio to listen.

                   TEDDY THE RADIO MAN
        ...line drive up the alley's gonna
        score at least two, here comes
        the relay--

                                                  CUT TO:

EXT.  DURHAM BALLPARK THE GAME NIGHT

CRASH FLIPS HIS MASK -- A runner rounds third heading for
home.  Here comes the throw, on a line.  It hits once on the
infield grass, takes a long hop--

AS THE RUNNER BARRELS TOWARD THE PLATE -- Crash takes the
throw.

THE RUNNER SLIDES -- Crash blocks the plate.  A cloud of
dust.  A close play.

THE UMPIRE SIGNALS "SAFE" -- And Crash flips out.  In a second
he is nose to nose with the UMPIRE.

                   CRASH
        I got him on the knee!

                   UMPIRE
        You missed him!

                   CRASH
        God damn It, Jack, he still ain't
        touched the plate.

THEIR FACES ARE INCHES APART -- Screaming face to face.

                   UMPIRE
        Don't bump me.

                   CRASH
        It was a cocksucking call!

                   UMPIRE
        Did you call me a cocksucker?

                   CRASH
        No!  I said It was a cock-sucking
        call and you can't run me for
        that!

                   UMPIRE
        You missed the tag!

                   CRASH
        You spit on me!

                   UMPIRE
        I didn't spit on you!

                   CRASH
        You're in the wrong business,
        Jack--you're Sears-Roebuck
        material!

                   UMPIRE
        You're close, Crash, you want me
        to run you?  I'll run you!

                   CRASH
        You want me to call you a
        cocksucker?!

                   UMPIRE
        Try it!  Go ahead.  Call me a
        cocksucker!

                   CRASH
        Beg me!

                   UMPIRE
        Call me a cocksucker and you're
        outta here!

                   CRASH
        Beg me again!

                   UMPIRE
        Call me a cocksucker and you're
        outta here!

                   CRASH
        You're a cocksucker!

                   UMPIRE
        You're outta here!

THE UMP THEATRICALLY THROWS CRASH out of the game.

                                                  CUT TO:

INT.  ANNIE'S HOUSE -- SIMULTANEOUS

ANNIE AND MILLIE STARE at the radio.

                   TEDDY ON THE RADIO
        ...I've never seen Crash so angry
        and frankly, Bull fans, he used a
        certain word that's a "no-no"
        with umpires...

                   MILLIE
        Crash musta called the guy a
        cocksucker

                   ANNIE
        God, he's so romantic...

                                                  CUT TO:

INT.  THE SHOWERS NIGHT

CRASH STANDS AGAINST the water, letting it stream across
him.  He raises a can of beer to his lips, drinks it slowly
in the shower.

As the water runs over Crash...

                   ANNIE (VOICE OVER)
        When Crash got throwed out, the
        game got out of hand...
            (beat)
        ...Jose made three errors with
        his cursed mitt...

JOSE BOOTS A GROUND BALL -- A runner scores.

                   ANNIE (VOICE OVER)
        Nuke never quite got in the groove
        though he didn't pitch bad...

NUKE JUST MISSES WITH A PITCH -- Ball four.

                   ANNIE (VOICE OVER)
        ...and the winning streak came to
        an end with a 3-2 loss...
            (beat)
        The good news was that a man was
        about to come calling...the bad
        news was--it was the wrong guy.

                                             DISSOLVE TO:

INT.  ANNIE'S LIVING ROOM NIGHT

AS PIAF PLAYS on the stereo--A knock at the door.

ANNIE GOES TO THE DOOR -- Then refuses to answer it at first.
She hides in a corner.  Bites her fist.

                   NUKE'S VOICE
        Annie!  You gotta be in there--I
        can hear that crazy Mexican singer!

Annie smiles slightly, and opens the door.

                   NUKE
        We lost.

                   ANNIE
        it's okay..

She opens the door fully.  Nuke's father stands there.

                   NUKE
        I'd like you to meet my father.

                   ANNIE
            (surprised)
        Oh--won't YOU come in?

                                                  CUT TO:

INT.  ANNIE'S HOUSE

AS THEY ENTER -- She leads them into the kitchen.

                   NUKE'S FATHER
        Ebby's told me a lot about you.

                   ANNIE
        Uh oh...
            (beat)
        Can I offer you some coffee?

THE KITCHEN -- CONTINUOUS -- NIGHT

She puts a pot of water with a swirl of graciousness.

                   NUKE'S FATHER
        Yeah...Ebby tells me you're a
        very spiritual woman.  He tells
        me you've taught him a lot about
        discipline and self-control.

Annie and Nuke exchange glances.  Nuke smiles.

                   ANNIE
        He's a good student.

                   NUKE'S FATHER
        We were worried that Ebby might
        get involved with the wrong crowd
        in professional baseball--we're
        so pleased, he met a Christian
        woman.

                   ANNIE
        Praise the Lord, eh?

The Piaf record begins skipping in the next room.

                   ANNIE
        Oh my--I better fix that.  Ebby
        will you help me?  I'm no good
        with mechanical things

Nuke picks up his cue and follows her to:

THE LIVING ROOM -- CONTINUOUS--- NIGHT

Annie fixes the record.

                   NUKE
        I couldn't dump my old man but
        maybe later I can sneak away from
        him...

                   ANNIE
        You don't have to...

                   NUKE
        I'm starting to understand what
        you're teaching me.  I mean the
        panties and the nostrils and all
        that shit...I mean I'm getting it--

                   ANNIE
        So am I.  Nuke, honey, we need to
        talk--

Nuke gets very aggressive and playful, pinning her.

                   NUKE
        Aw hell, let's have a quickie
        right here--

                   ANNIE
        --but you're father's in there!

                   NUKE
        Crash says I gotta quit worrying
        about him--c'mon, honey, we got a
        lotta catching up to do--

He pins her to the wall, she squirms away.

                   ANNIE
        Nuke--we do need to talk!

                                                  CUT TO:

BACK IN THE KITCHEN

Nuke's father is studying pictures on Annie's wall.

CLOSE ON A HELMUT NEWTON PHOTO -- A nude woman, two afghans,
and a toilet.

CLOSE ON A PHOTO OF SWAMI PRABHAVANANDA YOGANDA

CLOSE ON A POSTER OF A MARIJUANA LEAF with the inscription
"Better Living Through Mexican Agriculture".

Nuke's father is a bit unsettled by all this, when:

The phone rings.

ANNIE SWEEPS BACK into the kitchen--saved by the bell--to
answer the phone.  Nuke trails.

                   ANNIE
            (on phone)
        Hello?  Skip?  Yeah, as a matter
        of fact, he is here.

She hands the phone to Nuke.

                   ANNIE
        It's Skip, for you.

                   NUKE (ON PHONE)
        Yeah, Skip, it's me.
            (several beats)
        Jeez...Jeez...God...Jeez...

Nuke hangs up the phone.  Looks at Annie and his father.

                   NUKE
        I'm going to the Show.
            (beat)
        They're sending me up to finish
        out the season with the Big Club.
        I'm going to the Show!

NUKE'S FATHER LEAPS TO HIS FEET and embraces his son.

                   NUKE'S FATHER
        Let's have a quick word of prayer,
        right here, to thank the Lord for
        all this--

                   ANNIE
        Oh let's not...

                   NUKE
        I gotta leave first thing in the
        morning.

                   ANNIE
        That's great!

                   NUKE
        How can I possibly thank you?

He embraces her rather formally.

                   ANNIE
        Just pitch well and do good.

Nuke hustles his father out of the house.

                   NUKE
        I will, I will--C'mon, Dad, I'll
        dump you off.  I gotta find Crash.

As they exit, Nuke's father turns to Annie:

                   NUKE'S FATHER
        God bless you.

                   ANNIE
            (to herself)
        She will, Mr.  LaLoosh, she will
        ...

ANNIE SITS DOWN in a kitchen chair.  An enormous sigh.

                                                  CUT TO:

EXT.  THE DOWNTOWNER MOTEL -- NIGHT

Nuke knocks on Crash's door.  Nobody home.  Tony is arriving
with his GROUPIE GIRLFRIEND to the next room.

                   TONY
        Crash ain't there.  He never gets
        back till four or five--

                   NUKE
        Where does he go?

                   TONY
        Well, I'd rather not say.

                   NUKE
        They called me up to the Show and
        I wanta tell Crash goodbye.

TONY COMES OVER AND GIVES NUKE a heartfelt "five".

                   TONY
        Goddamn, that's great!  Jesus!
            (beat)
        Listen, Crash don't like anybody
        to know it but--
            (beat)
        Most nights he goes down to, you
        know, down to Niggertown.  To
        Sandy's...  the whorehouse.

                   NUKE
        He goes to a whorehouse every
        night?

                   TONY
        Don't tell him I told you--he'd
        break my neck.

CLOSE ON NUKE -- Disturbed.

                                                  CUT TO:

EXT.  THE BLACK SECTION OF DURHAM -- NIGHT

A CAB MOVES SLOWLY through a poor neighborhood.  Stops at:

AN OLD HOUSE -- Decades of ad hoc add-ons.

                   BLACK CABBIE
        That's Sandy's.  Keep your extra
        cash In your shoes.

NUKE GETS OUT and goes to the door.

                                                  CUT TO:

EXT.  SANDY'S WHOREHOUSE -- NIGHT

NUKE KNOCKS AT THE DOOR -- A small barred window opens.

A face appears--a TOUGH BLACK, SANDY, 50.

                   SANDY
        What'you want, kid?

                   NUKE
        Jim looking for somebody.

                   SANDY
        Who ain't?

                   NUKE
        Looking for Crash Davis.

                   SANDY
        Ain't here.

                   NUKE
        I'm Nuke LaLoosh.  With the Bulls.

                   SANDY
            (studying him)
        Your breaking ball's getting better
        but ya need a change up.

The door opens.  Nuke enters.

                                                  CUT TO:

INT.  SANDY'S WHOREHOUSE -- NIGHT

NUKE ENTERS TENTATIVELY -- Another world.  Grim.  Sleazy.

The Doorman leads him down a hallway full of doors.  A BLACK
PROSTITUTE enters a room with a HUGE REDNECK.  As they go
down the hallway, and as they do:

We begin hearing singing--raucous, soulful, drunk.

NUKE STOPS IN A DOORWAY -- Looks into the "waiting room".

--P.O.V.  SEVERAL HOOKERS in various stages of undress, sit
on couches and chairs.  Bored, smoking, ancient.  The ONE
WHITE HOOKER, a skinny 25 year old, accompanies on a guitar,
struggling to keep up.  And a couple HOOKERS are hanging
around a piano that--

CRASH IS PLAYING and singing.  He doesn't look up.  Crash Is
dressed but barefoot.  A cigaret dangles from his mouth as
he accompanies himself with decent cocktail lounge chords.

Two Hookers at the piano hum along.

                   CRASH (SINGING AND PLAYING)
        But when she does get weary--Try
        a little tenderness...

NUKE STEPS INTO THE ROOM -- All the Hookers rise in
anticipation of a new customer.  Crash keeps playing, never
looking up.

                   CRASH (SINGING CONT'D)
        You know she's waiting, just
        anticipating, the things that
        she'll never possess...
            (beat)
        While she's there waiting--Try a
        little tenderness...

Nuke interrupts the instrumental passage:

                   NUKE
        Crash.  I'm going to the Show.

Crash Ignores him, keeps playing.

                   NUKE
        Club's expanding its roster to
        finish the season--

                   CRASH
        Shut up.  I'm playing.
            (singing last 8 bars)
        Oh you won't regret it, young
        girls don't forget it, lost in
        their own wilderness ...
            (beat)
        But it's all so easy--Just try a
        little tenderness...

As Crash plays on--

                   NUKE
        I'm going to the Show.

                   CRASH
        Then go.

NUKE GRABS CRASH by the hair and jerks him to his feet.  The
two men are face to face.

                   NUKE
        I'm trying to thank you.

                   CRASH
        Let go of me!

NUKE LETS HIM GO and Crash staggers drunkenly against the
piano, regaining his balance as:

SANDY RUSHES IN WITH A GUN to break it up.

                   SANDY
        He makin' trouble for you, Mr.
        Davis?

                   CRASH
        No, no, Sandy, put it down.
            (drunkenly, to Nuke)
        Nuke, you know Sandy Grimes?  Hit
        .367 at Louisville in 155.

                   SANDY
        I hit .371.

                   CRASH
        He hit .371--C'mon, Nuke--you and
        me, let's step outside and settle
        this.

                   NUKE
        Settle what?

                   CRASH
        C ' mon!

                   NUKE
        I don't wanta fight you, I wanta
        thank you.  Let's have a drink
        and forget this--

                   CRASH
        God damn it, you fucking virgin
        prick--step outside.

Crash drunkenly heads out the back door in his underwear.
Nuke reluctantly follows.

                                                  CUT TO:

EXT.  THE ALLEY BEHIND THE WHOREHOUSE -- NIGHT

Several of the Hookers follow to watch.  Crash is drunk and
lost.  Nuke in control.

                   NUKE
        C'mon, we got nothin' to fight
        about.

                   CRASH
        You fuck!

                   NUKE
        Why am I a fuck?

                   CRASH
        Why are you a fuck?
            (beat)
        'Cause you got talent.  I got
        brains.  But you got talent!
        You're God damn left arm is worth
        a million dollars a year.
            (drunken insight)
        All my limbs put together are
        worth 7 cents a pound--and that's
        for science and dog meat.

                   NUKE
        You're a great catcher.

                   CRASH
        Come over here into the light so
        I can kick your ass.

                   NUKE
        No.

                   CRASH
        Okay, I'll kick your ass there.

Crash takes a step toward Nuke.  Pulls up his bare feet
quickly, stepping on a sharp stone.

                   CRASH
        ...God damn...I forgot my fucking
        shoes.  Honey, go get my shoes.

One of the Hookers goes inside for his shoes.

                   NUKE
        I'll take you back to the hotel.

                   CRASH
            (drunken, mad)
        You know what the difference Is
        between hitting .250 and hitting
        .300?  1 got it figured out.
            (beat)
        Twenty-five hits a year in 500 at
        bats is 50 points.  Okay?  There's
        6 months in a season, that's about
        25 weeks--you get one extra flare
        a week--just one--a gork, a ground
        ball with eyes, a dying quail--
        just one more dying quail a week
        and you're in Yankee Stadium!

                                                  CUT TO:

INT.  THE WHOREHOUSE -- CONTINUOUS

THE HOOKER FINDS CRASH'S SHOES -- Starts to bring them out
to him when...she notices cash in one of them.  The Hooker
takes a few bills for herself, and continues out--

                                                  CUT TO:

BACK IN THE ALLEY -- Crash finishes his tirade as:

THE HOOKER COMES OUT WITH CRASH'S SHOES

He struggles drunkenly to put them on.

                   NUKE
        Forget it.  You ain't worth
        thanking--

NUKE STARTS TO WALK AWAY -- Crash fires his one free shoe at
Nuke hitting him in the back of the head.

NUKE WHIRLS -- Comes after Crash.

                   CRASH
        Come on, Meat...

CRASH SWINGS WILDLY -- Nuke ducks it and level s Crash with
a short right hand.

CRASH CRASHES INTO SOME GARBAGE CANS -- Lies there on his
back for several beats.  Nuke stares.

CLOSE ON CRASH -- Blood trickles from his mouth.

                   CRASH
        Nuke...tell me something.  Did
        you hit me with your right or
        your left?

                   NUKE
        My right.

Silence.  Crash's next line is both drunk and sober and we
don't know if he's just being clever or if, somehow, he's
staged It all.  Maybe even he doesn't know.

                   CRASH
        Good.  Good.  That's terrific...

                   NUKE
        What?

                   CRASH
        If ya get in a fight with some
        asshole, never hit his with your
        pitching hand.  ya might get
        injured.
            (smiles)
        That's another lesson for ya--now
        quit fucking around and help me
        up.

CRASH REACHES UP A HAND FOR HELP -- Nuke stares back.

AND FINALLY NUKE REACHES DOWN AND HELPS CRASH to his feet.

                   NUKE
        Ya look like shit.

The two men head inside.

                                                  CUT TO:

EXT.  DURHAM STADIUM -- NEXT MORNING -- EARLY

NUKE'S PORSCHE -- The Clubhouse Boy drags Nuke's out to the
car and loads the trunk.  Annie, Larry and a COUPLE KIDS AND
DOGS are watching.

                                                  CUT TO:

INT.  THE LOCKER ROOM -- CONTINUOUS -- DAY

NUKE CLEANS OUT HIS LOCKER -- Filling his travel bag.

Crash sits on a stool next to him.  Sober.

                   CRASH
        Sorry about last night.

                   NUKE
        Forget it.

                   CRASH
        I have been known, on occasion,
        to howl at the moon.  D'you
        understand that?

                   NUKE
        No.

                   CRASH
        You will.
            (beat)
        Look, Nuke--these Big League
        hitters are gonna light you up
        like a pin ball machine for awhile--
        don't worry about it.  Be cocky
        and arrogant even when you're
        getting beat.  That's the secret.
            (beat)
        You gotta play this game with
        fear and arrogance.

                   NUKE
        Fear and ignorance.

                   CRASH
            (raging)
        No.  Fear and arrogance, you,
        hayseed, not ignorance!

                   NUKE
            (smiles calmly)
        I know.  I just like to see you
        get all worked up.

Crash calms down.  Sighs.  Nuke nods and picks up his bags.

                   NUKE
            (knows it's not true)
        Well, I got Annie all warmed up
        for ya...
            (knows it is true)
        She's just waiting for you to
        show up, y'know...

                   CRASH
        I don't need a crazy woman in my
        life.

                   NUKE
        Maybe you do.
            (quick beat)
        Y'know I'm starting to like this
        game--baseball's a helluva good
        way to make a living.

Crash speaks with quiet passion, from his soul.

                   CRASH
        It's the best, Nuke...the absolute
        fucking best.

                   NUKE
        Yeah, thanks for everything.

They shake hands, and Nuke heads out the door.

                   CRASH
        Nuke--
            (Nuke stops)
        Good luck.

                   NUKE
        You too...Meat.

Nuke smiles.  A little arrogance and fear.

                                                  CUT TO:

EXT.  DURHAM STADIUM -- CONTINUOUS DAY

NUKE TOSSES HIS BAG in the Porsche and motions to Annie.
They step away from the others.

                   ANNIE
        Well I guess this is it.

                   NUKE
            (smiles)
        I won't be needing these anymore.

NUKE PULLS ANNIE'S RED PANTIES from his jacket pocket.

The frilly, silk lace is tattered.  The panties have been
through the mill.  She accepts them graciously.

                   ANNIE
        Neither will I.

                   NUKE
        I think I'm ready for the Show.

                   ANNIE
        Ebby Calvin Nuke LaLoosh--don't
        think too much.

                   NUKE
        Don't worry.

They look at each other awkwardly, sweetly, and:

NUKE KISSES ANNIE GENTLY ON THE LIPS -- They hesitate, and
Nuke heads for his Porsche.

CRASH ARRIVES IN THE DOORWAY to watch.  Nuke bids farewell
to his father and climbs into his car.

                   NUKE
        I gotta go now, Dad.

                   FATHER
        I was thinking I could fly up and
        spend a week in the Big Leagues
        with you--help you get comfortable.

                   NUKE
        No.  If I screw up, I wanta do it
        alone.  I'll call.

                   FATHER
        We'll be praying for you.

                   NUKE
        Dad--if my curveball is hanging,
        God ain't gonna help me.

                   FATHER
        We'll pray anyway.

                   NUKE
            (kindly)
        If it makes you and mom feel
        better, go for it.  I gotta run--

THEY SHAKE HANDS, AND:

CRASH'S P.O.V.  -- NUKE ROARS AWAY in his Porsche, leaving a
trail of dust in the Stadium parking lot.

                                             DISSOLVE TO:

EXT.  DURHAM STADIUM -- DUSK

MILLIE AND JIMMY'S WEDDING -- A formal wedding on the
pitcher's mound.  Millie in white.  Jimmy in his uniform.
Skip is the best man, also in uniform, and several players
and groupies are the attendants, Annie as the Bride's Maid.

Organ music plays the wedding march.

JIMMY LIFTS MILLIE'S VEIL and kisses her.  The stands are
full of fans.

JIMMY LEADS MILLIE DOWN THE "AISLE" towards home plate.

                                             DISSOLVE TO:

EXT.  DURHAM STADIUM -- GAME IN PROGRESS -- NIGHT

CLOSE ON SCOREBOARD -- Ninth inning.  Durham is leading by a
score of 1 to 0.  Two outs.

JIMMY IS PITCHING -- He delivers.  The batter rockets a line
drive up the alley.  A PENINSULA RUNNER races from first,
rounding third, trying to score.  A relay.

CRASH WAITS AT THE PLATE -- Here comes the runner.  Here
comes the throw.  A close play.  A terrible collision.

Crash goes rolling.  The umpire waits--and in a cloud of
dust, Crash holds up the ball.

THE CROWD ROARS -- Jimmy jumps victoriously in the air.

                                                  CUT TO:

INT.  THE LOCKER ROOM -- NIGHT

The air of victory.  The mood is up and goofy.  Beer cans
are squirted at Jimmy, the groom.

                   JIMMY
        I wanta thank everybody and the
        Lord for the victory, it's a
        wonderful way to celebrate my
        marriage--and I guess we're all
        back on a winning streak, eh?l A
        few raucous "Fuckin A's" from the
        team.

                   TONY
        Hey, Jimmy--we chipped in and
        kind got a little gift for ya of
        a special wedding cake from the
        Durham Bulls.

DEKE CARRIES OUT AN WEDDING CAKE -- It's X-Rated.  The
decorative Bride and Groom are fucking.  Jimmy's embarrassed
but it's all good natured.

                                                  CUT TO:

CRASH COMING OUT OF THE SHOWER -- Toweling off, watching the
innocent, vulgar fun.  He sits down in front of his locker,
drying his hair, when the CLUBHOUSE BOY approaches:

                   CLUBHOUSE BOY
        Hey, Crash--Skip wants to see ya.

CRASH RISES AND HEADS FOR SKIP'S CUBICLE -- Wearing only a
towel and his shower shoes.

                                                  CUT TO:

INSIDE SKIP'S OFFICE -- Skip and Larry sit in postgame
routine, checking charts, smoking, half dressed.

CRASH ENTERS as he's still drying off.

                   CRASH
        Yeah, Skip, you wanted to see me?

                   SKIP
        Crash, shut the door.

And it hits him.  Crash looks at Skip, who looks down at the
floor, unwilling to face Crash who then looks at Larry, who
also looks away nervously.

CRASH SHUTS THE DOOR -- The party rages beyond.

                   SKIP
            (heartfelt)
        This is the toughest job a manager
        has...

CLOSE ON CRASH -- He's been in the game too long to be
surprised; nonetheless, he's surprised.  And hurt.  His
stoicism is professional.

                   SKIP
        The organization wants to make a
        change...now that Nuke's gone
        they wanta bring up some young
        catcher...

                   LARRY
        Some kid hittin' .300 in Lynchburg
        ...probably a bust.

                   SKIP
        I put in a word for you with the
        organization--told 'em I thought
        you'd make a fine minor league
        manager someday...Might be an
        opening at Salem next year--

EXTREME CLOSE UP ON CRASH -- His eyes are moist.

                   SKIP
        Helluva year, Crash--you know how
        it is.

Silence.

Crash stands there nearly nude.  He just nods slightly.
Without rancor or bitterness, he turns and re-enters the
raucous locker room.

                                                  CUT TO:

EXT.  STREETS OF DURHAM -- NIGHT

CRASH WALKS THE STREETS ALONE -- Crash stops in front of a
window and takes his batting stroke, studying the reflection.

And he keeps walking into:

                                                  CUT TO:

EXT/INT.  CHEAP BAR IN DOWNTOWN DURHAM -- NIGHT

CRASH DRINKING ALONE at the end of a bar.

                                                  CUT TO:

EXT.  STREETS OF DURHAM -- NIGHT

CRASH WANDERS ALONG into the residential neighborhoods.

HE STARTS ACROSS A QUIET INTERSECTION Stops.  Looks at the
street signs.  He CHANGES DIRECTION, walks on.

                                                  CUT TO:

EXT.  ANNIE'S HOUSE -- NIGHT

The windows glow.  After midnight.

CRASH STARES AT THE HOUSE -- Hesitates, then walks up the
porch stairs.  Knocks at the door.  Moments later:

ANNIE OPENS THE DOOR -- She looks beautiful.  Almost as if
she was expecting him.  At first, silence.  Then:

                   CRASH
        I got released.

                   ANNIE
        I heard already.

SHE OPENS THE DOOR -- Crash enters Annie's house.

                                                  CUT TO:

INT.  ANNIE'S HOUSE -- NIGHT

ANNIE PUTS ON her favorite Piaf record.

ANNIE POURS A DRINK for both of them.

CRASH PUTS A HAND ON HER HIP -- Annie closes her eyes, a
tiny gasp.  He kisses her forehead.  She kisses his neck.  A
tiny smile from Crash.  The same from Annie.

SHE KISSES HIM on the corner of his mouth.  Her hand finds
the back of his head and she runs her fingers through his
hair.

CRASH RESPONDS -- They kiss slowly, deeply.  As--

HIS HAND ON HER HIP PULLS UP HER SKIRT -- By degrees, the
skirt is raised up her stocking covered leg.  At last exposing
the beloved-

BLACK GARTER SNAPS -- Crash's hand expertly holds up the
skirt and effortlessly UNSNAPS THE GARTER with a minimum of
effort.

FLICK, FLICK, FLICK -- The garter snaps are free.

                   ANNIE
        Oh my...

                                             DISSOLVE TO:

THE BEDROOM -- Crash carries Annie to the bed.

                                             DISSOLVE TO:

ANNIE'S FOOT KICKS OVER A LAMP onto the floor.

                                             DISSOLVE TO:

ANNIE'S BLOUSE FRONT -- Flick, flick, flick.  Crash unbuttons
it with one hand in seconds.  Even Annie is startled with
the speed and ease of Crash's hand.

                                             DISSOLVE TO:

HER HAND SLIDES UNDER THE WAISTBAND of his underwear

                                             DISSOLVE TO:

HIS HAND SLIDES UP UNDER HER panties.

                                             DISSOLVE TO:

A FULL EMBRACE ON THE EDGE OF THE BED -- Remnants of clothes
cover parts of their bodies.  They tumble out of control to
the floor.

                                             DISSOLVE TO:

ANNIE'S HAND GRABS ONTO A DRESSER LEG -- A carved oak antique,
her hand holds on tight and shakes the dresser.

                                             DISSOLVE TO:

THE DRESSER TOP SHAKES -- Makeup bottles and pictures and
dozens of Annie's special things rattle and fall

                                             DISSOLVE TO:

ANNIE'S READ RESTS ON CRASH'S STOMACH -- Post coital, they
lie on the floor blissfully as Piaf finishes.

                                             DISSOLVE TO:

ANNIE CHANGES THE RECORD to Hank Williams.

                                                DISSOLVE:

THE KITCHEN -- ANNIE AND CRASH eat an after mid after sex
snack.  Crash eats a bowl of Wheaties.  They each wear one
of her robes.

                                                DISSOLVE"

Annie sits, munching a carrot and rolling a joint of marijuana
she keeps in a Victorian jewel box.

                   ANNIE
        ...  so you see in a former
        lifetime I'm sure that I was
        Alexandria, the Czarette of Russia?
        What do you think?

                   CRASH
        How come in former lifetimes,
        everybody was someone famous?
            (beat)
        How come nobody ever says they
        were Joe Schmo?

                   ANNIE
        It doesn't work like that.
            (stares at him)
        God, you're gorgeous.  Want to
        dance?

THEY KISS AGAIN -- And fall gradually onto the table top.

                                             DISSOLVE TO:

ANNIE SITS ON TOP OF CRASH lying on the kitchen table.

He stretches out a leg and:

KICKS THE BOWL OF CEREAL to the floor.  It smashes--

ceramics, milk, cereal go everywhere.  As:

THEY START MAKING LOVE AGAIN in the glaring kitchen light.

                                             DISSOLVE TO:

CRASH AND ANNIE DANCE in her living room.

                                             DISSOLVE TO:

THE BEDROOM -- Crash is handcuffed to the bed.  He seems
perfectly happy as Annie reads Walt Whitman.

                   ANNIE
        ...mouth, tongue, lips, teeth,
        roof of the mouth, jaws, and the
        jaw hinges...

                                             DISSOLVE TO:

ANNIE HANDCUFFED TO THE BED -- Crash reads.

                   CRASH
        ...wrist and wrist joints, hand,
        palm, knuckles, thumb, fore-finger,
        finger-joints, finger-nail...

                                             DISSOLVE TO:

CRASH AT ANNIE'S RECORD COLLECTION -- He thumbs through it
quickly, puts on a new record.

The Dominoes sing "Sixty Minute Man".  And...

                                             DISSOLVE TO:

THE BATHROOM -- Candlelight around the bathtub.  All we can
make out is two heads, two bodies, sloshing wildly In the
dim glow.  Water splashes, dowses some candles.

                                             DISSOLVE TO:

CRASH AND ANNIE IN BED READING -- Each with a copy of a Thomas
Pynchon novel.  Crash tosses it aside.  And disappears under
the sheets, playing with her as she struggles to keep reading.
She puts down the book.

                                             DISSOLVE TO:

ANNIE APPLYING EYE MAKEUP TO CRASH -- Who doesn't resist,
seems even amused.  He kisses her deeply, slowly.  She kisses
him back.  They fall onto the bed.

                                             DISSOLVE TO:

P.O.V.  OUT THE KITCHEN WINDOW -- Dawn.  A bird chirps.

And we hear a record skipping, repeating endlessly.

PAN ACROSS THE KITCHEN -- Overturned chairs, spilled and
broken cereal bowls, liquor bottles.

PAN ACROSS THE BEDROOM -- A disaster.  Clothes scattered
across the floor, overturned lamps, the bed lies at a cockeyed
angle.  Annie and Crash lie face down -- asleep, utterly
spent.

CRASH WAKES UP SLOWLY -'Reaches up and pulls his underwear
off of a lampshade, pulls them on, and gets slowly out of
bed.  He staggers across the bedroom floor, stumbling a bit,
into:

THE LIVING ROOM -- He stumbles across the trashed room.
Record album covers, more liquor bottles, pillows, cushions,
pictures hanging crookedly on the wall.

CRASH TAKES THE SKIPPING RECORD off the player and breathes
a sigh of relief.  He sees his pants lying on the floor and
pulls them on.

CRASH OPENS A DRAWER -- Pulls out a piece of paper and a
pencil.  He starts writing...

                                             DISSOLVE TO:

INT.  THE BEDROOM -- LATER

Sun streams in.  Annie opens her eyes.  Rubs them.  Reaches
over for Crash.  Her hand hits a note.  She whirls.  He's
gone.  Only a note.

SHE SITS UP WITH A START and reads the note.

                   ANNIE (VOICE OVER)
        Crash said he had to get an early
        start to drive to Asheville in
        the South Atlantic League where
        he heard they might need a catcher
        to finish out the season...

ZOOM IN EXTREME CLOSE UP OF NOTE -- "Love, Crash".

                                                  CUT TO:

EXT.  GREAT SMOKY MOUNTAINS -- DAY

CRASH IN HIS CAR heading for Asheville.

                                                  CUT TO:

EXT.  ASHEVILLE BASEBALL PARK -- DAY

CRASH KNOCKING ON THE BASEBALL OFFICE DOOR -- Looking for
work.

                                                  CUT TO:

INT.  ASHEVILLE LOCKER ROOM -- DAY

CRASH UNLOADING HIS GEAR Into yet another locker.

                                                  CUT TO:

INT.  ANNIE'S KITCHEN -- DAY

ANNIE SCRUBBING HER KITCHEN FLOOR -- Down on her hands and
knees, picking up the broken cereal bowl.

                   ANNIE (VOICE OVER CONT'D)
        The house smelled like sex for
        days.  It was wonderful.  The
        only real cleaning I did was on
        the kitchen floor 'cause who likes
        to walk on spilt cereal?

SHE FINDS A BIT OF A JOINT on the floor as she's cleaning.
She picks it up, sits on the floor under the table, and lights
the tiny joint.

                   ANNIE (VOICE OVER CONT'D)
        The funny thing is, I stopped
        worrying about Nuke.  Somehow I
        knew nothing would stop him.
        Crash was right--Nuke had a gift.

                                             DISSOLVE TO:

EXT.  INSIDE A MAJOR LEAGUE STADIUM (ATLANTA) -- DAY

NUKE IN STREET CLOTHES IN THE DUGOUT of an empty stadium.
50,000 seats.  Slick.  Awesome.  He's being interviewed by a
BIG LEAGUE REPORTER, who has a small tape deck and has stuck
mike in Nuke's face.

                   NUKE
            (like a big leaguer)
        Y'know, I'm just happy to be here
        and hope I can help the ballclub.
        I just want to give it my best
        shot and good Lord willing,
        things'll work out...  gotta play
        'em one day at a time, Y'know...

THE BIG LEAGUE REPORTER nods attentively as Nuke knowingly
delivers the cliches like a veteran.

                                             DISSOLVE TO:

EXT.  ASHEVILLE STADIUM -- DAY

In sharpest contrast to the Big League stadium, a rickety
old wooden grandstand, carved into the pine covered hillside.

CRASH STEPS TO THE PLATE -- In a uniform we've never seen
him in, of course.  The Asheville Tourists.  He picks up
some dirt, rubs it on his hands.  He's as intense as ever.
Still playing for keeps.

                   CRASH (VOICE OVER)
            (at the plate)
        C'mon, Meat, throw me that weak
        ass shit--c'mon, bring the heat,
        bring it, bring it...

CRASH'S P.O.V.  -- SLO-MO AS THE PITCHER WINDS AND

delivers a fastball right down the pipe.

                                                  CUT TO:

INT.  ANNIE'S BEDROOM -- AFTERNOON

ANNIE LIES IN BED READING -- She suddenly jerks up.

                   ANNIE (VOICE OVER CONT'D)
        I was reading in bed when Crash
        hit his 247th home run.  I knew
        the moment it happened...

                                                  CUT TO:

EXT.  ASHEVILLE STADIUM -- DAY

CRASH UNLOADS A MONSTROUS HOME RUN deep into the trees.  He
stands at home plate watching it...like Reggie or the Babe.

And doesn't move.  For several seconds he indulges himself
uncharacteristically--until...

THE OPPOSING CATCHER SHOVES HIM toward first.

                   CATCHER
        Get your ass in gear...

CRASH SMILES and takes the home run trot slowly.  As he heads
toward first, HE RAISES A CLINCHED FIST for a brief moment,
a tiny gesture of triumph.  And then, routinely, he just
circles the bases.

A HUNDRED FANS APPLAUD ROUTINELY as he circles the bases.

                                                  CUT TO:

INT.  ANNIE'S LIVING ROOM -- NIGHT

SHE LIGHTS A CANDLE for the home run.  Above the candles,
displayed in the shrine, are her RED PANTIES.

                   ANNIE (VOICE OVER CONT'D)
        I lit a candle for Crash's
        dinger...and tried to root the
        Durham Bulls home to a pennant.

                                                  CUT TO:

EXT.  DURHAM STADIUM -- DAY

ANNIE AND JACKSON OPEN AN UMBRELLA in her familiar place in
the stadium.  Umbrellas go up all around, as:

THE RAINS COME -- The players huddle-in the dugouts.

IN THE DUGOUT Skip and Larry reading copies of "The Tantric
Yoga of Sex".  And spitting tobacco.

                   ANNIE (VOICE OVER CONT'D)
        The Kid from Lynchburg wasn't
        good enough to hold Crash's
        jockstrap if ya ask me, and Nuke's
        replacement had a fastball that I
        coulda hit
            (beat)
        We had a three game lead with two
        weeks to go when the rains came.

THE GROUND CREW DRAGS TARPS over the mound and the plate.

                   ANNIE (VOICE OVER CONT'D)
        It rained and rained and I thought
        of driving down to Asheville to
        see Crash but then I thought "No,
        what you pursue, eludes you".  I
        had to trust Quantum Physics and
        the Church of Baseball.
            (beat)
        It ain't always easy being this
        religious...

ANNIE AND JACKSON POP OPEN THEIR UMBRELLAS and walk out of
the ballpark towards home.

                                                  CUT TO:

EXT.  DURHAM NEIGHBORHOOD -- DAY

ANNIE AND JACKSON UNDER UMBRELLAS -- He turns down one street,
she heads toward home.

                                                  CUT TO:

EXT.  ANNIE'S HOUSE -- DAY

AS SHE APPROACHES -- She stops.  Looks up.  Crash's beat up
car in the driveway.

P.O.V.  CRASH SITTING ON THE PORCH SWING Still raining.

CLOSE ON ANNIE -- She hesitates, and smiles.

                   ANNIE
        Oh my...

ANNIE SITS DOWN on the porch owing next to Crash.

                   ANNIE
        What happened?

                   CRASH
        I quit.  Hit my dinger and hung
        'em up.

A moment of silence over the significance of him quitting.

                   ANNIE
        I'm quitting too.  Boys, not
        baseball.

                   CRASH
        There  might be an opening for a
        manager at Salem next spring.

                   ANNIE
        Salem, Massachusetts?  Where all
        the witches were?

                   CRASH
        Yeah...you a witch?

                   ANNIE
        Not yet.  It takes years of
        practice...

He smiles slightly and takes her hand.

                   CRASH
        You think I could make it to the
        Show as a manager?

                   ANNIE
        You'd be great, just great...
            (rattling quickly)
        'Cause you understand non-linear
        thinking even though it seems
        like baseball is a linear game
        'cause of the lines and the box
        scores an'  all--but the fact is
        that there's a spacious-"non-time
        kind of time" to it...

                   CRASH
            (interrupting)
        Annie---

                   ANNIE
        What?

                   CRASH
        I got a lotta time to hear your
        theories and I wanta hear every
        damn one of 'em...but right now
        I'm tired and I don't wanta think
        about baseball and I don't wanta
        think about Quantum Physics...  I
        don't wanta think about nothing...
            (beat)
        I just wanta be.

                   ANNIE
        I can do that, too.

He rises, takes her hand, and they head inside.

And as the rains fall on Durham...

                                                  CUT TO:

INT.  ANNIE'S HOUSE -- DAY

THE SHRINE GLOWS -- Candles everywhere.  Rain pours down on
the windows outside.  And...

ANNIE AND CRASH SIT ON THE COUCH together, in silence.

                   ANNIE
        Walt Whitman once said--"I see
        great things in baseball.  It's
        our game--the American game
            (beat)
        He said "it will repair our losses
        and be a blessing to us"...
            (beat)
        You could look it up....

The music--Dave Frishberg sings "Van Lingle Mungo".

                       THE END